Millennial Money Man

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December 22, 2017

Confession: I’m Not as Frugal as I Used to Be…and I Like It

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Confession: I’m Not as Frugal as I Used to Be…and I Like It

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Over the past few years, my life has drastically changed in ways that I never really thought it would. It doesn't seem that long ago that I graduated from college and people were constantly lecturing me for being too cheap or making fun of my frugal lifestyle.

When I look back on it now, it's actually pretty crazy to think about how I used to do things.

My wife and I were living in this tiny little bedroom at her parents' house while I was paying off my student loans (and actually for a couple years after so we could save up money). I literally didn't even have a closet for almost three years.

Instead, I had a drying rack that stayed in my in-laws' garage year-round. Every morning, I would wake up, go out to the garage, and pick out my clothes for the day. Sometimes they smelled like gasoline because they were stored pretty close to the lawn equipment, so I'd throw them in the dryer while I showered to get the smell out.

The other problem? I barely had any clothes.

I was so determined to pay off my loans quickly that I basically refused to buy anything new. After I got my first job, I went to the store and bought just enough clothes to make it through two weeks of work. I had this “system” going, where I would try my best not to wear the same shirt and pants combination in the same week.

As a band director, you have to stand up in front of a large group of humans every morning. Unfortunately for me…half of them were teenage girls that took note of what I wore every day and made sure I knew when I was messing up!

It was pretty common to stand up in front of the class after the bell rang and hear something along the lines of, “Mr. Hoyt, I think you wore that shirt four days ago“, or, “Ugh Mr. Hoyt, your shoes look terrible.”

Teenagers are bad enough as it is, but when they have legitimate ways to make fun of you it kinda sucks as a teacher haha.

After I was done at work, I'd walk to my car (which was arguably the cheapest car in the parking lot) and unlock the door manually (no automatic locks or windows) and drive back to my in-laws' house.

Sexy, right?

Lack of clothing and old shoes weren't the only frugal habits I picked up

Honestly, I really just didn't do very many things that cost money. I was putting up such a massive amount of my paycheck towards my student loans every month that I literally couldn't afford to. My wife (then long-time girlfriend) was also putting most of her paychecks away to save up money for a wedding someday.

So what did we do for fun? Not too much.

Every once in a while we would go out to eat just because we literally had to get out of the house or we would have gone nuts. Her parents were super cool to live with, but the house was very small and sometimes you just get a little crazy when you have four adults in a 1,600 square foot house.

We didn't take any vacations for years, and both of us continued to drive old cars instead of buying new cars like everyone else kept telling us we should.

In fact, we still drive cars from 2004. My wife literally has had the same Jeep Wrangler for almost fourteen years. I “upgraded” from my 2006 Chevy Colorado to a 2004 GMC Yukon.

Last but certainly not least, we both slept on a full mattress because a queen wouldn't fit in our bedroom. My wife sleeps super crazy, which meant I would wake up with an elbow to the head pretty regularly (she doesn't proofread my posts anymore, so she won't see this muahaha).

Eventually, all of those small sacrifices paid off. I was able to pay off my $40,000 of student loan debt in 18 months, and then afterward my wife and I put together a year's worth of my salary. I quit my job to run M$M…which has worked out pretty well so far.

Now when I look back at that life, I don't even recognize it…and it wasn't that long ago

I'm literally sitting on our king sized mattress in our brand new house writing this post right now. The freaking ceilings are 11 feet tall and doors are 8 feet tall, which make you feel like a midget when you're walking around in here.

We have a really cool wakeboarding boat, have gone on great vacations in the past few years, and ultimately haven't had to worry about money very much.

My business took off this year, and I think it will reach pretty incredible levels next year (my business goal is to gross $500,000 between the blog and my small marketing business).

Outside of the mortgage, we don't have any other debt and have been able to get a great start on investing. We aren't rich or anything like that yet, but I know for a fact that we are ahead of the curve for our age.

Now please don't take any of that as bragging, because it's certainly not meant to be. That's not my game. It's really just to outline how quickly we were able to change the quality of our life by being extremely frugal early on.

We very easily could have taken the path that most of our peers did. We could have had an OK house with almost no money down, maybe be on our second set of new cars, and essentially be locked into that lifestyle for the next few decades.

And honestly…it might have been kinda nice at first, but then I'm sure we would have felt trapped later on like most people unfortunately do.

By practicing fairly extreme frugality and making ourselves uncomfortable in the short term, we set ourselves up for *hopefully* an incredible life in the long-term.

As cool as it was to have success through frugality, I'm glad we aren't doing it the same way anymore

Here's the awesome part – we have for sure let our lifestyles inflate. But we've been able to do it at a rate that's less than our financial growth.

Even if we become millionaires in our 30's, we'll never live at the level of our net worth. We just have too much practice living below our means to ever let it happen.

Frugality is more a skill than a lifestyle, and you can bust it out as needed throughout your life once you learn how to do it right the first time.

We have a great emergency fund now and have plenty of cash left over every month to invest and do fun stuff whenever we want to. When we have a kid, we know that we'll be able to create a great life for them (assuming M$M doesn't completely blow up or something).

And even if my business failed, I know that my wife and I have the skills and discipline to claw our way out of whatever happens.

There are still flashes of that frugality that we used to have that we incorporate in our newer (and frankly better) lifestyle.

I still try to do all of the work on our old cars that I can reasonably do to save money. Even our boat, which is basically the anti-frugal, has been worked on by yours truly any time a mechanical issue has come up. The only time I've had to pay for work was after I ran into mud one time and did some pretty nasty damage to the hull haha.

So what's the point?

I know so many of my readers are staring at the reality that the only way they can truly get ahead financially is to cut back on their lifestyle or let their friends and peers pass them up drastically over the next few years.

It's scary. Why would you want to seemingly move backward or in slow motion while everyone around you keeps getting nicer stuff and seems so happy from the outside?

That's the key to getting ahead though – nicer stuff and happiness are not inexorably intertwined. In fact, they're completely unrelated. The average person chases nice things with the hope of magically finding happiness without ever understanding that. Fortunately, if you're reading this site, you aren't average. 🙂

I'm not happy because the ceilings in my house are tall and our boat looks cool on the water. I'm happy because my wife and I have more freedom in our lives now and can do the things that we are truly passionate about. The nice house, boat, and vacations are just a by-product of that.

It took some tough years and definitely tested our relationship (and each one of us personally), but the result was essentially a fast-track to success when the process was over.

So if you're looking at a leap of faith into frugality, here is my advice to you:

Don't be scared to cut back. Don't worry what people will say. Don't care what they think when you've passed them up.

Live differently. Your bank accounts will thank me later. ~M$M

Don't miss another M$M post.

Learn more about attacking debt, making more money, and creating an awesome life you love.

Comments

  1. Like Bobby, we are less frugal because we have no debt. We’re retired and live on my retirement and husband’s social security, with my fun side hustle for fun money. We have investments, as well. We could do anything we want and can handle any emergency which is a wonderful feeling. My husband still doesn’t spend much but he doesn’t complain about my spending, which is a miracle.

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  2. We’re definitely less frugal! I think it’s ok to enjoy your money responsibly. Now I’m willing to buy socks 🙂 and travel more. Great post Bobby!

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  3. I am far more frugal than I used to be. The Christmas season set me back a little bit, but I was very picky with who I bought gifts for (just my mom, dad, girlfriend and sister). Other than that, I buy cheap food at Aldi, I’ve been wearing the same clothes for years (although I’m fortunate enough to have a closet), and I’m aggressively paying off my debt as best I can while still in school. Thanks for the great read!

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  4. As of right now, we are more frugal because we are still in the process of paying off our debt. Just a car loan left to go! Yay! We can’t wait to pay off the remainder of that loan, save up the rest of our emergency fund, and start to really have fun with our money. By being frugal now, I know we’ll be able to breath more easily in our future.

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  5. Frugality is cool and all, but there is no way our marriage would have survived 3 years in a full sized bed. I think I’m joking haha.

    We are actually fighting our way back to our better frugal selves with a goal of a 50% savings rate for 2018. We’ve hovered around 20-25% but I’m ready to kick it up a notch, which really means only spending on what’s important and cutting out what doesn’t bring true value to our lives. Which is really the whole point of frugality in my opinion.

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  6. Hey Bobby,

    I’ve been following M$M posts for a couple months now, so relatively new reader. You’ve definitely been inspiring in your story, in fact I’m now working on starting my own blog to help in my finances.

    One reason I’m doing this is almost the opposite of your post. In college I was kind of “de-facto frugal” as I didn’t have any money to spend. But after starting my job post-graduation, I may have enjoyed the income spike a little too much. Now working on trying to be more frugal to put more away and tackle student loans. Thanks for the posts man!

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  7. I’m on both sides of this question—I have been more frugal and have been less. My husband had some serious debt and sacrificed a lot to get out—we lived in a 500 sq ft garage apartment for a few years—with 2 teenage boys! After the debt was paid, we loosened the purse strings for a few years.
    Then, we started a “second family”, and I quit my job to stay home. Now, with 5 kids in private school, we have to really watch the dollars.
    But, we know that we know how , and there’s nobody I’d rather have along for the ride! 😉

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  8. More frugal. No debt, but I enjoy new frugal challenges. I am gifting everyone in my family coal for Christmas. Don’t worry it’s the nice kind made from from oreos and marshmallows!

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  10. Frugality is more a skill than a lifestyle, and you can bust it out as needed throughout your life once you learn how to do it right the first time.

    Exactly! I’m also less frugal now that I’ve reach financial independence. But I do still exercise the skill very often, I just apply it in a more targeted fashion instead of across the board like I used to. And for me, it’s sometimes fun to exercise the frugal muscles. It’s like having a superpower skill that allows you to save money!

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  12. WOW, $40,000 paid off in 18 months is incredible! It is so encouraging to read about successful individuals (such as yourself) who were able to suck it up in the short term, for long term gains later on. I just hope your boat keeps on going so you and your wife can enjoy many more times out on the water! I wish you nothing but continued success.

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  13. I am definitely less frugal than I was when we were paying off debt. You are right that it is a skill you can always pull out when you need it, though. It gives me a lot of peace to know we could live on a much smaller salary if we needed to.

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  14. Right now, my husband and I are a bit more frugal than usual. We are in the middle of building our first home and want to pad our bank account a bit more before it is complete.

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  15. 100% agree – it’s wise to be frugal until you get yourself into a more stable position. Yes, it does seem like you’re taking a step backwards, but in a few years you’ll be able to leap past your peers who didn’t take the same advice. Great article!

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  16. In some ways I’m more frugal – some ways, less. We built a nice house, but we still only have one hail-dented car. We go out less, but spend more on dinners when we DO go out.

    I think it was on the ChooseFI podcast you were on recently that I heard the term valueist – that’s exactly what I describe myself as. I value a nice place to live and delicious dinners, so we choose to spend our money on that. I don’t value a nice brand new car because it’s just not my thing. I choose to not spend money on that because spending more money on it won’t provide more utility or value or joy.

    I think we’ll have a relatively frugal 2018 to help save up some more cash while we’re focusing on investing more. 🙂

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  17. We’ve been less frugal these days. But I was able to say and get across a NO to a car loan to my Mr Hoyt. The 2017 car would be an upgrade from the 2008 I’m driving now. But mine works fine other than it needs a tire and some transmission lines. We need to be disciplined to save the money for a newer vehicle. Because, yes we will need a newer vehicle in about 20 months when boy1 gets his license. It will help with the 20 mile one way drive to school to pick them up from after-school functions.

    And 2 teenage boys eat more than they did when they were toddlers.

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  18. Wow could all those girls those girls make fun of you, how disrespectful! I just want to congratulate you on your success and I can wait till my debts are paid. I’m a percussion director myself so if I become more frugal maybe I can afford to reward my students with skittles if they win the scales competition.

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  19. When I started on the path to reach financial independence I was only earning around $20K per year. It was 20 years ago, but still a low salary. To save over 25% of my earnings, I had to be super frugal. As my income grew, I have become a little less frugal, but still save a large percentage of my income.

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  20. Congrats on everything you achieved!! That’s awesome! I have to wonder though, do you think your current way of life is due more in part to your business taking off and doing so well, vs JUST being extremely frugal? I guess the point is, if someone is extremely frugal it doesn’t necessarily equate to them being successful now or in the future. There is so much more to it! 🙂 I think for every great success/I reached financial independence story, there is someone out there who is extremely frugal who isn’t sure why they can’t get ahead. Playing devil’s advocate. lol

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  21. This definitely strikes a chord. Sometimes I feel like a “fake” PF/frugal blogger because I no longer have to live frugally – and I’m enjoying the new freedom. Oh, I still make frugal choices often and DIY most everything. And, it’s actually can be difficult for me to enjoy spending money on things that seem extravagant (because the frugal gets in your bones!), but I’m learning to enjoy the payoff of our early investing and frugal choices. We also got a boat a few years ago and heard all the jokes…BOAT stands for Break Out Another Thousand or Bankruptcy On A Trailer, haha. So we do the maintenance work on our boat a lot too, but we are loving the lake life. Anyway….congrats on your success and your lifestyle freedom that comes along with it!

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  22. I would bet that you’re still frugal but in different ways. The things that guide you have shifted and so have your habits. That’s natural.

    Thanks for sharing.

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  23. I always believed that everyone’s frugal threshold is different and even though we consider ourselves frugal, we never lived where we felt deprived. Our lifestyle is value based with disciplined spending. It got us to early retirement and we stick to that winning strategy. I think everyone finds as time goes on that their values and passions change. We have seen a slight voluntary uptick in our spending on some things over the years in our retirement. Mostly around family outings and travel. We still have frugal tendencies when it comes to buying stuff. That said, I get some frugal-folk’s grief over my automotive hobby and owning a sports car. I don’t think anyone should knock someone else or themselves for what they decide brings them happiness. If you can afford it, why not.

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  24. I’m more frugal now than I’ve been in the past. Living on a fixed pot of money will do that to you. I scaled back a good deal of my discretionary spending in the last few months. Now most of the money I’m spending is on my startup, and even with that I’m keeping the costs as low as possible.

    Those 11′ ceilings sound incredible, but those heating bills must be like whoa.

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  25. Congrats on being “rockstar’ed”! I am glad your blog and business are paving the way for your FI. Take it from an older man, the investment just snowballs as you grow and you will find comfort you don’t need to be as frugal as you started out with. We all pleasantly learn this truth – a clear reward for saving big and investing early. Best wishes for more success!

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  26. Fun post to read! I’m one of those who has cut back a bit — well, I guess I didn’t really “have” to, but have chosen to do so in order to dedicate more to savings/investment in my 50’s. We’ve become more frugal over the years just from realizing we didn’t really need the more expensive cars, bigger house and so on. And I am somewhat behind as a result but hopefully catching up. I’d be even happier if I could just downsize my yard a little more. Ha ha. But, yeah, king size bed, you can’t beat ’em. We also have a very high ceiling — in an inexpensive 1500 sq foot ranch house.

    Thanks for an interesting read!

    Reply

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