If my wife knew I was writing this, she would roll her eyes so hard. As much as she tries (and she is like full-time dedicated to this), I just don’t care about what I wear or if people think I’m broke.
Perfect example – I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop that I come to a few times a week to write. Even though I’m not a hipster at all, this place has a weird hipster feel that somehow inspires me to write some of my best stuff haha.
When I first came in several months back, the owner of the coffee shop noticed that I had been here a lot and usually stayed for hours typing on my computer.
One day he asked what I was doing here:
Him: So what kind of test are you studying for?
Me: Test?
Him: Yeah you’re in college right? I figured you were studying for an exam or something.
Me: *Realizes that I’m wearing flip flops, shorts I’ve had since almost college, and a black undershirt with a little hole above the pocket* Oh…no no I’m actually a full-time personal finance blogger and run a marketing company. I’m also almost 30 unfortunately.
Him: *The look people have when you tell them you’re a full-time blogger* Do you make money doing that?
Me: Uh…yeah a little.
I went on to show him the website and then chatted a bit about marketing stuff and online advertising.
He actually used to underwrite mortgages, so we had a pretty interesting conversation about 2008 and all the fun times of the mortgage meltdown. Small world.
Read also: The Big Short Movie Review
Now I come here all the time and they know me as “the blogger guy”, so I guess that’s pretty cool and I get free coffee refills. 🙂
The point of the story is that I don’t resemble any aspect of my wage in everyday life, which is how I like it.
Now…I can clean up pretty well when I have to for a TV appearance or something (see the homepage picture for a rare glimpse), but ultimately it just doesn’t matter to me if people think I’m a college student, pool guy (I have a lot of free pool shirts from a friend’s company), or jobless video game enthusiast.
Up until this year, I hadn’t bought new shoes for myself since college. When my wife’s father was still alive, he insisted on getting me new shoes for my birthday because he knew I wouldn’t buy them for myself.
My wife forced me to throw away all of my socks with holes in them and get new ones, which I’m still vaguely bitter about because I felt like they had some life left in them. You can’t feel the holes anyways when you have shoes on.
The vast majority of my wardrobe consists of either free stuff I’ve picked up over the years or the rare times that I bought clothes out of pure necessity.
That’s not to say that I don’t have a few nice things…
I’m not trying to convince people that I’m some ultra-frugal person that doesn’t enjoy life at all. I’m also not saying everyone should be walking around with holes in their socks either.
Trust me, I’m the afflicted one – not the people who wear decent clothes.
My wife and I own a pretty sweet wakeboarding boat, go on decent vacations from time to time, and are in the process of building a cool house.
Read also: Tips for Building a Home and Sticking With Your Budget
Our goals have always been to prioritize the things that are important to us in life, and then go after them and not look back. I don’t feel “guilty” for owning a boat (mostly because we paid cash for it), or dumb when we spend money on a trip somewhere (also because we pay cash for it).
That’s part of the reason that we have two cars with a combined value of *maybe* $9,000, and haven’t had cable once in our post-college lives. For us it’s about prioritization, and so far it’s working out pretty well.
I know exactly who I am and what’s important to me, which helps drive my success
That comes from really taking a deep look at the inner fiber of who you are and realizing the difference between what actually drives you to do well in life, and what you’re doing just to impress other people.
Unfortunately, part of growing up as a millennial involves fake crap on social media too. I scroll through Instagram almost every day, and can’t believe how many of the “get rich quick” people are out there with their rented lambos and Airbnb mansions.
Even the actual rich people *cough Bow Wow cough* try to make their life look cooler than it really is on social. It’s crazy.
People can think I’m a scrub as much as they want when I roll up in my 13 year old car and free pool company shirt, but their opinion won’t change how much money is in the bank.
Once you learn to let that aspect of life go, it’s really a pretty freeing experience.
Question for you:
What’s the one thing you don’t care what other people think about?
That’s awesome that you can live your life without worrying about what others think of you!
I just read a post on Not Your Average Joe that was talking about how this is one of the main issues that keep people in debt. Trying to perceive that they have more money than they do. And since you do make a good amount of money it’s nice to see that you are still down to earth!
I totally agree with you on the sock thing though! My wife always throws them out when they get holes, but like you said you never feel them in the shoes anyway, only when you have your shoes off and your son goes “Daddy you have a hole, and pokes you.”
Haha that’s not to say I’m not self conscious at all (I think every person is in one way or the other), but yeah clothes or cars just don’t do it for me. Hehe no kids so I don’t get that treatment yet. 🙂
My socks have holes in them too, but I mend them myself. I do the same for my husband, and he’s perfectly ok with that. 😀
Mending holes in them is pretty dedicated haha
I love it, my husband mends all our socks too! Walmart socks!!!
I repair my husband s six so they don’t rub in his workboots.
Thank you!!! Now I know I am not alone. I can not get people who are planning for hours what to wear, and worrying about the condition of their clothes. I have socks with holes too and have no problem wearing them. Occasionally I throw out the one with the holes and pair the other with a surviver from another pair (I buy one type of socks most of the time). My wife got so pissed of sometimes that lately I granted permission for her to dump the unusable pieces with the condition that I do not want to know it. I also do not get fashion shows. Do someone wear those pieces of s**t at all?
It was not uncommon for me to wear two completely different socks because…who can see them? I’m sure it’s for the best somehow but yeah my wife did put her foot down on the holes in clothes thing.
Mr. Picky Pincher and I have seen this so many times. I used to work at a farmer’s market. I was told to target high-earners for marketing pieces. As it turns out, the people who dressed in old jeans and t-shirts were the rich ones. They didn’t give a damn what anyone thought, because they didn’t have anything to prove.
As for me, it’s with makeup. I’ve started wearing makeup again in my new job, but it’s because I feel like it and it’s fun, not out of pressure or obligation.
I can never believe how much makeup costs haha. I just ask my wife to buy without telling me anymore.
Hear hear! I work in an office where the dress code is business professional. It requires I do things like *shudder* dry cleaning…I try to do that as little as possible…
Dang that sounds intense! I might take things to a dry cleaner once a year (had to a little more often when I was a band director for concerts and stuff).
I’m with you – I generally don’t care what people think of me unless they are close friends or family. In that case, I care about what these people think of my character and personal qualities. My sense of style and car? Not so much.
When it comes to things like clothing, I’m pretty minimalist. I buy what I need for work purposes and usually try to find items that also work in social settings. Most of my “go to” clothes are button down shirts that I bought for $10 at the Banana Republic Factory story 5 years ago, and they still look new to me. I need to find my own connection to get some pool guy shirts, haha.
Full disclosure – I’m also guilty of wearing and loving socks with holes in them. 🙂
Yesssss the holes in socks crew is forming
For me it’s my clothes andy car. Not as extreme as you, but I am fine wearing old clothes. Just donated a sweatshirt I got in high school. I am 30. I still have another one and wear it all the time.
Stealth wealth is great. Keeps your spending down too while you’re trying to save.
Haha “stealth wealth” – haven’t seen that one before!
I can’t take credit for it.
http://www.financialsamurai.com/the-rise-of-stealth-wealth-guide-to-staying-invisible-from-society-rage/
Ugh Sam always has the best words haha
LOVE IT! My husband and I farm beef cattle, which means more often than not, I’m covered in some sort of muck when I’m not at my 8-5 job. Who wants to wear nice clothes for that? Not me.
Growing up, my parents always said that just because someone had a nice car/clothes/house does NOT mean they are rich, but usually in a lot of debt. I would much rather have no debt than a $2000 (ugly) Gucci bag.
It’s true – you really can’t tell how much money people have by what they wear or drive. Even houses are deceptive. Pretty crazy!
What a great post Bobby! Just another reason I’m such a fan of your work. Your helping lead a charge to change the way people look at “stuff” and you just think your blogging! Keep it up!
Thanks Bruce! It’s so funny – every time I write one that I don’t like very much…everyone else likes it and it becomes one of my more popular ones. So weird haha
I sell Subaru’s for a living (yay hipsters!). So I constantly get the car payment and “you need credit” speel shoved down my throat. With being a huge car guy I would love to drive something nice and sporty. Hell im sure I could “afford” the payment. However the financial stability for my wife and children is what’s most important. I’ll get to the cool stuff after they are set for success 😎👍🏻
I honestly was not aware that Subarus are a hipster thing haha. Is there nothing they won’t take?!?!
I love wearing fancy clothes- not the ones that cost an arm and a leg, but I do enjoy a good session at the shops. This is important to me.
However, I don’t particularly like jewellery. A pair of earrings and a bracelet are fine but I can do without you them. At the end of the day, you put money into what you love. And I don’t think jewellery is important to me.
Thank you for yet another thoughtful post, Bobby!
You’re welcome Stephanie!
The socks may be one step too far (same with underwear). It serves a very specific purpose and if it is not in repair then you will end up paying for it (in pain) later. Mind you, on an average days I hit 15-20k steps (and run every other day, where your gear needs to be working like it should). About the only clothing I have bought recently was a kilt, and that sucker will last for forever (since where do pants wear out? Crotch, knees and along the cuff, none of which are problems with kilts). I wore out my black dressy shoes and have been procrastinating on buying a new pair for the past 2 months!
Yeah the only reason I started buying shoes now is for running. I was running with old shoes and it was destroying my shins and knees. Definitely a good place to put some money if you’ll be running a lot.
You’re so cool! I really don’t like that people just look at what brand names you have on your body and decide whether to be nice to you or not. Come on, I don’t need those people in my life.
As long as someone keeps up their personal hygiene and changes their top every day, I don’t care if those tops/shirts have holes in them or not (but it shouldn’t be too revealing though if you know what I mean).
Yes personal hygiene is important haha
This reminds me of the signaling theory. Find the signal you want to send out to the world and live your life sending it out!
I really don’t care if people at work ask me to go out to eat with the team and I say no to them. My FIRE dream is more important !
Yeah man keep going!
I do not have a smart phone- I have a side phone from 2007. It still works and I don’t care what people say about it. I pay just over $30 a month for my phone service- money in the bank. Not to mention I have dropped this bad boy dozens of times and have never had an issue!
Jealous – I’ve ruined many a phone via the drop.
Kudos to you for staying true to yourself and not allowing money define WHO YOU ARE!
I no longer care at all what people think about my debt free journey (the ones who mock and joke about it) because I know it inspires my followers. On a more personal note, I actually don’t wear make-up…and the opinions of others no longer bother me. HA!
You’ll find over time that the haters kinda fade away. Once they see enough people agreeing with what you write, they move on.
Haha, great post! I hate buying underwear. Especially since it’s so overpriced. But same here, wife makes me do it lol
My wife is on me about the underwear too haha
I love this. I’m the same way. I do love having nice clothes, but I absolutely HATE shopping. I wish they would just appear in my closet. I started a clothes-buying ban almost 2 years ago and it’s been surprisingly easy. In fact, it gives me an excuse to NOT go shopping – which I love. Ha!
Funny story, I was in Verizon Wireless last night downgrading my plan (so I can reach FI sooner) wearing an old sweatshirt with a hole in the pocket and camo tights. An interesting, yet hip (at least I think so) combo. I’m SURE the guy I was talking to thought I was a pauper, especially since I was inquiring about getting the least expensive plan so I can focus on just using WiFi for data. We even talked about pre-paid plans! I love it. And I definitely don’t care what other people think 🙂
Woah hold up I just bought Verizon stock – please go back and get the more expensive plan 🙂
Good for you! I am the same way, but I was not when I was younger. I figured it was ‘old man power’ now that I am in my 40s.
It’s good to keep in mind that famous Eleanor Roosevelt quote: ‘You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.’
P.S. Don’t worry, soon you will have more socks with holes! Just give it time, and try to hide them this time!
Dude she’s on them like a hawk – no hiding them anymore haha
This is why your blog is so authentic, Bobby. You don’t try to pretend to be somebody you are not.
There is no way you could have paid off the debt you had as quickly as you did by buying new items all the time. You’re inherently frugal, and you know where you want to spend your money. You spend it on things that make you happy. That is what life is all about – being happy.
Money can be a vehicle to obtain some happiness, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that drives/motivates you. If it is, you are probably not going to be happy.
Cheers.
Thanks man – I only know how to be me 🙂
And yes – it is about being happy. People are so quick to get wrapped up in stuff that doesn’t matter at all.
I had to take a double look at the featured image, I thought I was looking at my own socks.
We also rarely go shopping for clothing. Maybe once or twice a year we will go to Burlington Coat Factory and spend $100-$200 in total on new clothing. Why spend a ton of money on new clothing. Just like a car wear them into the ground before upgrading.
Since I have started working full-time self-employed I have noticed there are a few morning that I will forget to throw on a shirt all together before lunch comes around hahaha.
Every time you mention your boat it gets me pumped for Lake Life in New York. My parents own a nice place on one of the finger lakes that we spend most of our summer at. Looking forward to working from there with the amazing view of the water this summer.
FYI: Sent your article about “building your own home” to my brother in law since they are in the middle of that process. They loved it!
Thanks for sending it to them! If I could sit at home and still have enough motivation to write, I’d probably go shirtless too haha
You could always try it at the coffee shop but instead of “college student” you might look like a “homeless man”.
Haha I absolutely love this! I’m the same way!
Ha I wonder if Wes gets as annoyed as Coral does about it
Without a doubt, my cell phone. I don’t need an $800 iPhone financed over 2 years. No thanks, I’ll take the low cost off-brand phone with the cheap plan. Serves its purpose.
I work from my phone a lot so I need a smartphone – but I agree. They are crazily priced and the finance thing is bogus.
I definitely understand when it comes to people who work from their phone, in that situation it makes sense to have the best phone you can find.
Called stealth wealth. Or, since you’ve told the world that you make $200,000 a year, it’s no longer Stealth 🙂
Haha yeah not much stealth left in my life anymore
I disagree, I can definitely feel the holes in socks and my toes try to escape!
Everything else is spot on though, it is all about your priorities. I’ve never been into fashion, clothes, makeup, shoes etc that most girls are supposed to just know. I did go through a phase when younger with dying my hair and getting my nails done, but even that has fallen off my radar and I haven’t done it in years. Super important to me though is spending time with loved ones and having amazing food! I’ll happily spend $150 on dinner, but think $50 is too much for a new dress.
Each to their own, you can have anything you want, but not everything.
My holes are always in the heel – never had the toe holes before!
My truck is rusty and I couldn’t care less. It still runs good, and I’m hoping to get 250k miles on it before I have to buy a new used one. Unfortunately, it’s been in road salt a little too much in its life. But I LOVE the fact that my imaginary monthly payment goes right to savings. I would love to never use it 😉
Yeah rust is one of those things that we fortunately don’t have to deal with in Texas!
Bring my lunch to work. People spend so much money. They sometimes make remarks. I chuckle and think about my bank account.
Nice!
Great post. I’m lucky enough to work in an office where they legit don’t care how we dress. Today was flip flops, short sleeve plaid and cargos. I’ll never go back to the way things were…
Dang that’s awesome man! One of my least favorite things about being a teacher was the dress code.
Your article made my day!
I’m the same, when it comes to clothes! I really don’t give a rat’s ass what others think of me (and I’m a girl 😀 )
At my last job, I worked in an office and dressed every single day as if I came from the gym. My other female colleagues had high heels, and really nice outfits and took the time to put on make up and do their hair. My beauty routine? I took a shower and put on comfy clothes 😀
While having friends and colleagues give me weird looks isn’t a problem, I did have a “war” going on with my parents when I was younger. As a teenager, they’d tell me I look like a hobo all the time :)) And really, all I cared about was to feel comfortable, rather than fancy.
So glad it made your day! People really liked this one haha. I’m the same – I need to be comfortable to work well.
Perfect example: Mark Zuckerberg!
Haha yeah that’s true!
I’m the opposite of some of the views mentioned above (but for reason.) Our work place went very casual, almost to the point of jeans and t-shirts. When I started working there(before casual everyday) I went out and bought new dress/business everything and by gosh, I’m going to wear it.
But after work, I’m in jeans with blown out knees, shorts and like you, one of a hundred free t-shirts.
And yes, toe holes are the worst. Occasionally you can turn the rotation of the sock to not be bothersome, but most times it will rotate back.
Amen! I am a mellennial and pull in $300,000 + a year and feel the same way.
I thought I was alone in the not caring what others think of my fashion choices. I just told my husband about 2 weeks ago my wardrobe consists of 2 tank tops (one with a bleach stain) and every free tshirt I have received. I have a few nice items to wear when I have to make an appearance in the office but other than that I simply don’t care!
Great post!
The one thing I could care less about is having a car. I got rid of in at the end of 2014 and never looked back.
Admittedly, though, I do care about clothes. I sacrifice in other areas in order to wear the clothes I like. It’s not to impress others, though – it literally makes me happy. Also, I don’t buy designer names or anything. I tend to buy clothes on sale.
Thanks for sharing!
My old car is my personal socks with holes. 🙂 People are always shocked by what we drive, but I just laugh. When I see people my age driving a nice car (which is pretty much everyone where I live), I just assume they’re driving their savings accounts. I paid $2000 in cash and it gets me to the same place – without any stress!
My twin sister and I love shopping at the Goodwill and resale shops for clothes and home furnishing finds. So grateful my husband and I always lived below our means. Most of our friends and family would be surprised how much savings we have because we aren’t flashy people. Just because you can afford a $2,000 purse, doesn’t mean you should buy it. My husband drives a 2008 car with almost 300,000 miles and has a second transmission. We took our three small kids to Europe for 3 weeks last summer. We did home exchanges. I guess it’s all about your priorities and what is important to you (as far as what you spend money on).
As a 36 yo CFP who counsels people on budgeting, spending, and saving I love your blog 🙂 Our family lifestyle is similar to yours and I could care less about swanky haircuts or hair care. Plus our cars are each +10 years old. Why do I want a new car for my children to trash with goldfish crackers?!?!
I never cared for designer stuff. I buy sunglasses at most it costs $10. A relative asked for a rayban sunglasses, bought him one. He saw my sunglasses and said not brand name huh. I looked at him all confused. I am frugal when it comes to buying stuff to show off. The funny part was he failed to notice my real glasses photochromic, glare protected glasses that I paid $400. I wud much rather pay for something like this that I use every waking moment than something to show off. Another time I was showing my brother a designer bag thinking of buying it for myself for my graduation. He said what does it do? Good point. For the price of that bag I better get a jet pack that comes with it. And no.., I don’t get holes in my socks. Not in last 5 years. The elasticity gave up. But I think my socks will outlive me. :p