One of my favorite things to tell people about running this site is that I set out to create the four hour work week with M$M and somehow ended up creating the 60 hour work week in the process.
I thought that this would be an interesting post because honestly, work-life balance has been something that I've been trying to master for the past three years. I still have not figured it out, and the reality is I'm not even sure what the “perfect” balance would even look like at this point.
It's always a hot-button topic with Millennials. I haven't even looked it up, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be too hard to find an industry we've all collectively destroyed because we don't want to work ourselves to death.
Since I've started M$M, I've had periods of time where I've been on both sides of the coin when it comes to work-life balance. I've had lots of it, and I've had none of it.
Here's what I learned when I had too much time on my hands:
So obviously, I quit my job a little early to run M$M. As much as I'd like to sit here and pretend that I knew M$M would be where it is right now in less than three years, the reality is that I had almost no idea what I was doing.
There have been plenty of people over the years that have contacted me and wanted to quit their job because of my story.
That is certifiably a horrible idea unless you have a really solid business plan, multiple revenue streams or a ton of money saved up (and honestly…that might not even be enough).
After I left my teaching job, I found that out pretty quickly. There were a solid three months in there where I was not really making any money from the blog, which forced me to pick up marketing clients, and the rest is history.
But there was a period of time where I just had one client…and I was making nearly the same amount with that client as I was teaching.
Now don't get me wrong, I was working hard for that client. I had to. It was my only real income stream.
But my work-life balance was totally maxed out to the “life” side because one client just isn't enough work to be a full-time gig. That's why you don't really ever see marketing companies with just one client haha.
I could get coffee whenever I wanted to. I could take a nap if I was tired. I could pretty much do whatever I wanted, as long as I was doing all of my work and providing results for them.
There was a period of time where I legitimately thought about keeping my lifestyle right there. I wasn't making a ton of money, but it was enough to pay the bills and since I was so frugal at the time, I could still do all of the fun stuff that I liked doing.
But after a while…I started to learn something pretty interesting about myself. Not working a full-time gig is freakishly boring for me.
It's actually one of the reasons that I have almost no interest in pursuing FIRE (Financially Independent Retired Early) anytime soon.
As cool as it sounds to do whatever you want and just work here and there when needed, it's truly not as cool as you think it is in my opinion.
Why?
Nobody else has that schedule. You go to the store and it's empty. You go to coffee shops during the day and there is barely anyone there.
It's lonely. Maybe if you have someone else there with you 24/7 it would be better, but it's still basically a ghost town everywhere you go.
Once I realized that, I decided to reverse course and go full-steam with my business.
I picked up more marketing clients. M$M really started to gain traction, and before I knew it I was working like crazy to build my business.
Here's what I'm learning with not enough time on my hands:
Soon after I decided to go hard with my business, I took it way too far to the “work” side of the equation…and I'm still recovering from it.
I don't know how closely people pay attention to what type of content comes from the site, but there was a large chunk of time where I had tons of guest posts on the site near the end of 2017.
Somehow, I had gotten to the point where I didn't even have time to write enough content for the site anymore. Looking back, it's crazy to even think that I let it get to that point.
I'll probably always have guest posts here because it's nice to get some different voices on the site and give newer bloggers an opportunity to spread their message to the M$M crew.
But when it got to a place where there were more guest posts than my stuff, that's a problem.
In an attempt to grow everything quickly, I took on way too many projects. Too many course launches. Too much client work. Too much of everything, except for sleep and spending enough time with my wife.
I literally got to the point where I was getting out of bed and opening my computer, and not shutting it until it was time for dinner. Then, I'd pick it back up after dinner and keep going until midnight or later.
And I'm sure that you're thinking I'm an idiot right now or something. How in the world could I let it get like that?
My friends and family were going weeks at a time without seeing me, and all of the sudden, I was becoming known as the guy that's always “too busy”.
It sounds so simple to avoid that, but when you're driven to produce at a high level…it just happens. I don't know how to explain it.
There was a time not too long ago where I did not leave the house for 8 days. That is not a typo. I did not leave my house for 8 days and didn't even realize it.
So, obviously, that's not good haha. It's not even that I felt like it was unhealthy, but I just started to notice things like my attention span getting even shorter than it already is (which is dangerously low to begin with), and just feeling “blah” more often than usual.
Working too much (even if it's for something you love) is not always worth it. Time is far too important of an asset to stay in that mode for too long, regardless of the money.
So obviously, it's called work-life BALANCE for a reason
If there is anything for you to take away from my massive swings in the amount that I worked over the past few years, it's this:
Chasing the perfect work-life balance is really, really hard. It may be impossible for me because I like my work so much. It may be impossible for you because of the type of work you do, or your ambitions in life.
My advice would be to understand that it's more of a sliding scale than an absolute thing that you “find”.
You will have times where you need to work crazy hard to get ahead.
Maybe you want the promotion. Maybe you want the added responsibilities. Maybe you want the raise.
It's OK to work like crazy, and I think it's actually pretty cool. There is nothing wrong with being a hard worker in this life.
But sometimes, you will have times where you want to be lazy, and that's OK too. There's nothing wrong with taking a step back to preserve your mental health.
The key is to make sure that you are always balancing both of those realities in a way that allows you to meet your life and financial goals.
Question for you:
How many hours do you work every week?
I’ve got a great work-life balance right now. I rarely work over 40-45 hours per week, I get a ton of time off, and I work 2 miles from home, and I get along great with my boss plus I’m well regarded. The money isn’t awesome, we get 2-3% raises per year, and the temptation to look for more money has had me looking around at times, but so far I haven’t left. I look back at my career and I talk to others and I realize that things often change quickly that are triggers for looking for a new job. When companies start cutting jobs or you get a boss you don’t like or the work sucks, that’s a good time to leave. I’m sure that eventually one of these things will happen and that will probably get me out of my comfort spot, but for now I keep enjoying the great balance that I have.
Having a great boss is key! I’ve had issues with that in the past unfortunately, but I think it’s helping me be a better boss now!
Great post Bobby. I’m 100% in agreement that finding that balance is the key to happiness. I also want to FI and not to FIRE. It would be great to work only because of the intellectual rewards and not for the need of a paycheck.
Today, I’m working about 45 hours a week at work and maybe another 20 on the blog. I need to learn how to streamline and optimize the blog stuff better. The good news is that about 10 of those blogging hours come during my train commute to work. At least I’m using time efficiently!
Thanks! Streamlining the blog stuff has been a struggle for me, but my goal is to get several months ahead on content. It’s just going to take sitting down and writing multiple posts per day, which is never something I’ve been good at!
Before reaching FI I was on the other end of the work-life balance spectrum, stuck working 90+ hour weeks and uninterrupted 25-hour shifts for years. Being salaried and ineligible for overtime was just salt in the wound. The best way to describe this period of my life was barren and exhausting. My health and relationships suffered, and I felt that I was simply a shell of my true self.
During this time I was that “too busy” guy who seldom saw the light of day. Forget hobbies – I was missing date nights with the wife, vacations with extended family, even funerals of extended family members. Life was all about surviving instead of thriving.
My aspirations of FIRE were never a life of vegging out, but simply obtaining a balance to life and the lifestyle freedom to pursue my creative drives and passions. In my experience, most people will still work hard after reaching FIRE, they simply get to do so in a way that feels fulfilling for them. That could be any number of things – yardwork, gardening, financial fitness, exploring nature, volunteering at non-profits, diving deeper into parenting, or starting their own business, like you have.
“Nobody else has that schedule. You go to the store and it’s empty. You go to coffee shops during the day and there is barely anyone there.”
This doesn’t bother me at all. Matter of fact, I actually prefer it, by and large. In my case, I’ve found that financial independence grants the ability to run errands without fighting the 4:00 – 5:00 rush hour, which can be a problem even in my relatively small hometown of 12,000 or so people. No more need to wait minutes for an available pump at the gas station. No more stressing over racing time and traffic to get to the bank or post office before they close. No more watching a traffic signal turn red 2-3x before actually making it through.
My wife and I can now run errands stress-free, with a much higher level of overall time and fuel efficiency. I’ve found it to be a freeing and much less stressful lifestyle. We still get to spend the time we like with friends and family in the hours in which they’re typically available. We simply get to live the “other” part of our lives in a lower-stress environment!
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit in the beginning (re: coffee shops being empty, etc.), but after several months it just got old for me. Different for everyone I’m sure!
Agreed, I’m sure personality has a lot to do with it! I lean more towards the introverted side, draw my energy from time alone with my thoughts more so than being surrounded by others. Mrs. FFP is entirely the opposite.
Together, we find a good balance! 🙂
All told I work about sixty hours a week between work and blog. That’s an improvement for me, it use to be 80. My sweet spot is about fifty so I’m still working on it.
50 isn’t too bad at all! I’ve been at 80 – that life sucks haha.
You talk about stores and coffee shops being empty like it is a bad thing haha. I guess as an introvert that’s like my dream.
I work pretty much exactly forty hours a week now. I like my work and e joy the folks I work with so it’s perfect. I’ll realistically stick around for as long as they want me.
That being said my plan is to consult part time once I am FI. Doing it about twenty hours a week would still be a great income and would keep me sharp for a while.
Finding balance can take a while but if you love what you do then is a 60 hour week that bad? Have to ask Coral I guess haha
Haha yeah I know it seems strange to have that opinion. I’m an introvert too, so in the beginning I really enjoyed it. It just gets really lonely at some point, especially because it was just me with that schedule. I think if my wife had been at home or something it would be different.
Now I really enjoy working with my team and business partner throughout the day. It’s really healthy to have the human interaction.
I work 40 hours per week at my full-time job from 5am to 1pm. I also do freelance radio sports play by play for an area radio station (mostly evenings, some Saturday afternoons). During football season, it’s one game per week so it’s an extra 6-8 hours including travel. During baseball/softball and basketball seasons, I’m doing 1 or 2 games per week until playoff time then I’m doing up to 5 per week for about a three week span. I’d estimate I’m adding 15-30 hours per week during baseball/softball and basketball seasons. March through May is my off-season for sports so I’m enjoying my free time while I’ve got it.
Oh that actually sounds like a lot of fun though! Fun fact: I wanted to be a communication major and be a sports talk radio host early on in college. Didn’t do it though haha
I work part-time to be available for my kids after school, etc. When I find myself on the computer doing blog stuff after school and at night, I think that’s a fail. But if I don’t have at least 20 hours of “paid” work to do and maybe 10-15 of blog-related work, I, like you, feel bored and out of balance. I guess my sweet spot is 30-35. But, I also have multiple hours of mom duty (practices, coaching their teams, helping with homework, making dinner, etc). So that adds untold more hours of parent work in there! 🙂
30-35 would be really nice. You get to do some things that make you feel productive, and then chill and put in the parent work too!
This is huge. I work 40 hours but with my commute, it’s 60 (only get paid for 40 though!). This has been pretty detrimental on the life side of things, despite me (reasonably) liking what I do. It’s also the main reason I’m working on my side hustle, because if that can replace my income with less working hours, i’m all for it. Not being able to see family and friends has really gotten old and isn’t how I want to live.
Wow that’s a ton of time on the commute! I would not enjoy that either. 🙁
I’m around 45 a week from work, and maybe 5 in school work. #TryingToStayMarried
Haha staying married is a good goal!
The guy who wrote the 4 hour workweek gets picked on often for not following the advice that made him famous. He works his butt off.
I had times long ago where I loved my job so much I didn’t care if I worked 50 or 60 a week. But that didn’t last of course.
To me balance is hugely important and a constant struggle to maintain. I now work 20 hours a week at my W2 job, and probably another 20 on my 2 side-hustles. So I’m still a full time worker, but the side hustles give me flexibility, more fun, and I own them. That’s what gets me excited.
Yeah it’s interesting – but I could see why he is that way. When you’re driven to produce, you just naturally work a ton for seemingly no reason haha. 20/20 sounds awesome!
Great post and I totally agree. Work life balance is tough. I’m financially independent but still working full time and writing for my blog. Eventually it would be great to work about 30 hours a week by setting up systems and processes that take care of a lot of the non-core stuff. For now, it’s about a 60-70 hour work week for me.
Work life balance seems to be more of a journey. As lame as it might sound, I’ve found it helps to schedule certain important things (time with loved ones, exercise, etc) to make sure I’m spending my time wisely.
Thanks! I’ve found that having an assistant organize my life has been really helpful. I suuuuuck at setting aside time for important stuff, so I’ve been much better with those things lately.
As a teacher/coach I put in 60+ hour weeks during my coaching seasons and around 50 hours a week during my non-coaching seasons. Add in my work on the blog and I am pretty busy. However, I’m trying to get the blog to the point that I can live off the blog and come home to spend more time with my family and kids. My current amount of free time is non-existent, especially during the school year.
People never realize how much teachers work during the school year! Those breaks are needed! Keep going with the blog – just takes time!
An interesting question ………. I only work 35-ish a week at paid gig these days. Do about 5 hours volunteering. Then the rest for fun stuff like running, studying and blogging.
That sounds awesome!
I work 40 hours a week, and commute up to 10 hours a week on top. I consider myself pretty lucky! I also work on my blog which is an additional 5-10 hours a week. I know friends that work in the same field as me who work 55 – 60 hour weeks plus travel 3 hours to and from work a day. I could take a job with more earning potential with extra hours, stress and double my commute time but I choose to value my time and sanity over the extra cash and instead direct my energy to work on my own personal goals.
I totally get what you mean about FIRE. I definitely am going for the FI but would love to keep working in an area I am hugely passionate about.
Yeah FI without the RE is the goal for me right now. Talk to me in 5 years and it might be different though (but I doubt it)!
I great post! I agree that you can go into crazy work mode for a period of time, to achieve a goal, but I’m not interested in sustaining that lifestyle long-term. I work 40 hours a week at a day job and a few hours a week at my side hustle. I enjoy it for the most part and feel like most weeks I have a pretty good balance.
25-32/week during the school year for me outside the home seems about perfect. But with teenagers in the house, yeah I’m kept busy. Hubby works 40-60hr/week and is salary. But he keeps helping his brother (all weekend long every 3 weeks, or he gets a phone call asking, “you want to go for a drive” and than not tell him that they would not return home for 6+ hours). He is a workaholic. So right now all 3 of my guys are out in the woods collecting sap in the dark to take it to the boiler person. This after work or school and after school commitments = unreasonable. I told them when he asked that I probably couldn’t due to health issues. I was right, I did it one very light collection day and partially dislocated my shoulder.
Whaaaaaaat another Hoyt!!!!! Are…are we related?
Who knows – oh yeah probably my MIL she is into genealogies. My FIL and his siblings all lived near the Mississippi in WI growing up. Most still live there but a few have ventured away.
Finding the right balance is the key to so many things… happiness, health, attitude, comfort with oneself.
I retired, although I now work two days a month. So for me, I still have a toe in the working world, get a few dollars, see people, do work-type things. But 99% of my time is doing what I want when I want it. I never hang out at coffee shops because I am too busy doing what I want. I blog, write, learning a musical instrument, studying a foreign language, going to a few classes, doing the garden, errands with the wife, seeing friends and socializing, home repairs, food shopping, and so on. Never a dull moment here. I am balanced!