I'm very very cautiously writing this post about why we don't have a kid and will attempt to not offend anyone I know. 🙂
Full disclosure: the last time I wrote about kids, my life was much different and I was less mature than I supposedly am right now. I thought you had to be edgy to get noticed blogging (had literally no idea what I was doing), and ended up offending friends with the post.
Live and learn, right?
Just to let you guys in a little bit to my life, my wife and I have been married for a year but have been together for 10. We're both 27. Most of our adult lives have been filled with not doing anything like all the other people around us, and we've managed to create a life that we enjoy a LOT right now.
Then there's the whole kid thing. The number one question that we receive from parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, random people is: “When are you having kids?”
Or – “You're going to have at least one, right?” Or – “How long are you going to wait?”
It wears on us from time to time, but I've realized that we have just gotten unbelievably used to shrugging it off, defending our “weird” choice, or listing some reason why we haven't had one yet. Most of our close friends have kids, so it's basically inevitable that they and every other human we know are going to ask us about joining the club.
It's not good or bad, it's just the way our culture works.
So, why don't we have kids yet?
I'm sure you were wondering after all. 🙂
1) We LOVE where we are in life right now.
*GASP* – happiness without children?!?!? Yes, it's actually possible. We've been fortunate to have more liquid assets than what I would imagine most people our age do, and it allows us to kinda do whatever we want within reason.
We can vacation pretty freely (looking at lake houses for rent on my other browser tab), go boating a ton, and really focus on building our careers and foundation for the rest of our lives right now. Things are good.
When we do have kids, we want them to have an awesome life and are preparing to make that a reality. That's absolutely not to say that people who have kids when they are young and don't have money are messing up in any way. We just have our own strategy.
2) We are planners. Big time.
My wife and I are usually thinking out years in advance when we make decisions. You can't plan life because it's unpredictable, but we enjoy the attempt. I've met too many people that have too many regrets about their lives, and we are trying to avoid that at all costs by making decisions we feel good about and spending time together as a couple before we have kids.
Kids are a long term commitment and we aren't in a rush. And honestly, I don't give a $hit about how old we will be when they hit _____ age because we will probably both be retired, financially free, and really like our lives at that point. We'll be just fine.
3) We literally don't care about peer pressure.
That's basically what all the kid questions are, but we know those questions come from a place of people wanting good things for us rather than trying to get us to do something we aren't comfortable with.
I've talked to SO MANY PEOPLE that feel blessed to have their kids. It's an incredible accomplishment, and we recognize that. Contrary to popular belief, we aren't a sad little immature couple that hasn't grown up yet and don't realize what we are missing out on. My wife and I get it. It's special, goes beyond words, completes your lives, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
If you have kids, we're truly happy for you. You're all awesome. We still aren't having them yet. Sorry.
If you are like us and don't have the kiddies yet by choice, we feel you. You know what the inside of the struggle bus looks like too.
If you are my parents or grandparents, hold your [email protected]#$ horses. It will happen eventually. Jeez you guys are persistent.
Three questions for you to answer below:
Do you have kids?
Which one is your favorite?
Just kidding, those aren't the real questions. These are:
Are/were kids part of your life plan…or did life just happen? 😉
How have your finances changed because of your kids?
Would you take it back? <- Don't answer, I already know the answer is no unless you're a bad person or your kid really sucks.