I wanted to change course a little bit with today's post because lately everything on the site has been about straightforward financial stuff like investing, budgeting, and how to pay off debt.
And yeah I know – the site is literally called Millennial Money Man, but I think the reason that M$M has grown so much lately (reached 180,000 people last month!) is because I take the time every once in a while to write about things that actually matter like happiness and life. 🙂
Honestly, I think it's good to step back and think a little more about the macro instead of the micro when it comes to personal finance. When I do that and reflect on everything that has happened with both my personal happiness and with my business in the past two years, it helps me get even more focused on my financial goals moving forward.
A lot of you already know about my story of paying off my student loans and leaving my teaching job to run this site. Today I'd like to talk a little more about why I did both and how it made my life feel more complete.
I never felt like I fit in with teaching
I'll try to tread carefully here because most teachers really love what they do and they provide an incredible service to our society. I don't want to downplay that at all, but I do want to use my story to connect with people that might be feeling the same way that I did (in any profession).
Going to college for music education was always a little tough for me. For the four years that I was in the music program at my school, I always felt like I was just going through the motions.
I passed all of my exams, got good grades, and eventually got my degree. The weird thing was that the entire time, I kept wondering: “Is this what I'm actually supposed to be doing?”
Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything else that I was good at or enjoyed, so band directing it was. I had a solid resume, so I was able to get a great job out of college teaching at a very good band program.
But every morning at 5:30 am I'd wake up and have that little feeling of dread that you get when you're about to go do something that you really don't want to. Somehow, I had let myself get trapped in a career that I wasn't actually passionate about.
It was so frustrating because I still didn't know what the heck I was supposed to do to feel “right.”
All of the other teachers around me seemed like they were so excited about everything, up to and including staff meetings (which I haaaaaaated).
I kept wondering…what the heck was wrong with me? Why couldn't I be as invested in the learning process as they were? Why did it make me mad when I had to spend extra time at the school without extra pay?
Was I just selfish?
That's when I started financially preparing to do something else
Pretty quickly into my teaching career, I started paying off my student loans as fast as I could. That was really the catalyst for getting excited about personal finance, and eventually what landed me an interview with CNBC and turned this into a real business.
Related: How I Paid Off $40,000 of Student Loan Debt in 18 Months
But at the time, I was just paying off my loans because it *felt* like the right thing to do.
I had no idea that I would become self-employed, or that I would quit my job to run a business that had only made $3.
All I knew was that being in debt gave me less opportunity to change my life. I had to be a teacher because I needed the paycheck to pay my student loan bill, which is the definition of becoming trapped.
There are so many people out there just like me who thought they were doing what they were supposed to do after college, but ended up suffocating under the choices of their younger and far less-wise selves.
The only way to create a little more breathing room in my life was to tackle the loans.
I was also witnessing first hand that other thing we don't like talking about…
At the same time I was working on my student loans and dealing with the fact that I picked the wrong career, I was also facing the realities of our limited time on Earth at a younger age than most people do.
I've written about this on the site several times before so I won't rehash the whole story here, but my father in law was diagnosed with a terminal illness right around the time that my wife and I graduated from college.
We both got jobs and moved in with her parents for what we thought would be a short amount of time, but as his disease progressed it changed and we stayed there longer than we ever thought we would.
My wife and I did as much as we could to help out. We cooked, helped clean, contributed financially, and tried to be there as much as possible for my mother in law when she needed assistance.
There were many mornings that I was late to work because her dad had fallen and needed help getting up (I still remember that sound that happens when someone falls…definitely something you don't ever forget).
It was a little hard, but we stayed as long as we possibly could until the constant coming and going of hospice nurses started to wear on our relationship.
We were all forced to face the reality that he was eventually going to pass away, which had a pretty profound impact on me and I'm sure it did on them as well.
Him passing away isn't the point though – what's important is that he lived this amazingly full life that most people don't ever get to experience. It made me realize that I couldn't allow myself to get stuck in a life I didn't enjoy because of money.
My wife's dad lived his life on an epic scale. He wasn't afraid to do anything (which is one major reason he fell all the time after he knew he wasn't supposed to be walking around anymore haha). It seemed like every day we would say: “Hey Bill, don't do that you could get hurt,” and then he would find some ridiculous way to launch himself off of his wheelchair or something.
He surfed all over the world, rode motorcycles all over the country, and just basically did every fun thing you could imagine while he was able-bodied.
When he eventually did pass, all of us pretty much agreed that he did more cool stuff than most people do in a lifetime.
It made me realize that the only thing holding me back from what I wanted to do in life was me. I had to create a situation financially where I had more flexibility. I didn't want to get to the end and have regret.
…which brings me back to the main point
For everyone that reads this site, follows me on various social media platforms, or is in the M$M private Facebook community – the reason that I write so passionately about money isn't to get people to have more money so that they can feel really good about…having more money.
I don't tell the story about how I left my teaching job in hopes that someone will buy something from me later down the road or quit their job tomorrow for the sake of quitting their job.
I do this because I want people to understand that money is just a tool to create a life that you feel really good about. When we get to the end – nobody actually cares if you were a multi-millionaire or will remember you because you had a 786 credit score.
They'll remember you because of the way that you lived your life, regardless of how it was that you went about the business of making money. That's why you should always be trying to use the money that you do make to create a life that you actually want.
The title of the post was: “How to Use Money to Create the Life You Want”. That can mean paying off your debt faster. It can mean starting your side hustle. It can mean investing more. It's different for everyone, and you have to figure it out for yourself…preferably today if you haven't already.
No matter your strategy for getting your money right, it should always be with the end goal of waking up every morning and feeling excited that you were able to wake up. Every day is a day in the bonus round.
Question for you:
Were you excited to wake up today? I was.
I love this post, Bobby – this message is the entire reason I got into blogging about money itself.
So many people work to live and live to work, in what feels like an endless cycle without much real meaning or fulfilment. Money is important, but only if it provides the means to live the lifestyle you truly want. Whether that’s living in a yacht or in a van – that’s up to you.
Thanks for sharing your perspective on the things, as you say, ‘that actually matter’ – I agree it’s what has made your site a community 🙂
Thanks Yaz! I totally agree- I know people that have lots of nice stuff and aren’t happy, and I know people that live in RVs that are super happy. Money just can’t be the only thing you use to get there.
I agree! A simple life is how I was able to retire at 38. More is not going to make me happy…if I’m not already happy with what I have 🙂
“But every morning at 5:30 am I’d wake up and have that little feeling of dread that you get when you’re about to go do something that you really don’t want to. ” I hear ya. Some jobs are different than others; I loved my last job during the good times (the bad times were real bad though) and loved going into work every day. I want to find that again.
“I couldn’t allow myself to get stuck in a life I didn’t enjoy because of money.” – This really rings true with me, and it should with everyone. It sucks to “have to” do things because you need the money – but we’re thinking of ways to get around that.
I’m going to have my wife read this article, it’s a real good one. 🙂 A dose of inspiration I needed this week.
Dude that’s hard to find! I wish I have the perfect advice for people that want to find a job that’s really fulfilling. That’s a hard thing to achieve. Glad it helped!
The death of someone you love can teach you so much about your priorities. Unfortunately, your father in law passed away, but it sounds like he had an amazing life that he wouldn’t regret. That’s the goal, right? To have such a great life that you don’t regret a moment.
From a financial perspective, I too believe that personal finances are a vehicle to experiences. Getting out of debt and developing additional income streams is a means to have a more fulfilling life.
Yeah man, that dude basically everything you can do haha. I probably won’t ever catch up with that, but it did show me that you don’t have to be stuck in an unhappy place.
I had the exact dread that you discuss with my first career in finance which is why I switched careers to become a teacher. I absolutely love what I’m doing now, but it’s the most difficult job I’ve ever had.
I am equally passionate about personal finance and have enjoyed reading your blog. I’ve been unofficially blogging all summer and hope to publish sometime soon. I’ve also been thinking about integrating personal finance topics into my classes to ensure students get started on the right path. Thanks for the inspiration.
You’re welcome, and you should launch! You never know what it could become. 🙂
To answer your question: No, I was not.
Well, I am excited it is Friday, but that is because M-Th weren’t all that exciting.
You nail it by saying. “No matter your strategy for getting your money right, it should always be with the end goal of waking up every morning and feeling excited that you were able to wake up.”
That’s really what personal finance, financial independence, early retirement, whatever, is all about: getting yourself, financially, into a position that money isn’t a day to day stress, allowing you to have more time to do whatever it is that excites you.
Losing a loved one is always hard, but reflecting on a life lived to the fullest brings hope! Thanks for sharing.
No problem 🙂
I can relate to the limited time we have here on earth as my dad passed away 2 months after I had my 1st child. And how something like that can help to emphasize what’s truly important to you.
“Money is just a tool to create a life that you feel really good about.”
This is exactly what money is for me. We blog a lot about money and getting out of debt. But it’s really not about the money. It’s more about the freedom and enjoying life.
I have a similar story to what you experienced with your teaching job. When I graduated nursing school I got a job in the ICU. I was ecstatic. However, after about 2.5 months I started dreading having to go in. I was still on orientation and it just came to be overwhelming, even on my days off. Once I let them know (because I would’ve been in a 2 year contract after getting off orientation) it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. And I was happy again once I found a job on a unit I liked.
Sorry to hear about your dad – I know that’s tough. Finding a job you love IS like getting a weight off!
Ahhh, I do want to just throw in the towel and do what I love, but I know better! Sometimes you have to keep working the job you don’t like to rake in the dough to achieve freedom. But that’s also why it’s important to do things you love, and to not let your daily grind define you.
Yeah I agree – it’s not always possible (or the smart thing really) to leave a good job. I think there are ways to supplement happiness outside of it if that’s the case.
These type of posts are some of our favorite you do. You are an incredible story teller and it shows in your writing.
I can relate on a bunch of levels. I picked the wrong career as well out of college. From the time I was 14, I wanted to be in law enforcement and be a police officer. I worked as a Jail Deputy for 2 1/2 years and each day I would wake up something different.
I can also relate to the sound of an elder falling. It’s actually very scary. My grandfather has altimerz and his memory is fading quickly. He has had many surgeries on both knees and his balance is pretty bad. The first week they moved in with my parents full time he fell and broke his hip. The entire holiday season last year was spent back and forth to the hospital spending time with them while he recovered.
Back to the point of your article. I think you hit the nail on the head and unfortunately, many people take their entire life time figuring it out. Money is a tool that enables you to live the life you want. Money should not be your purpose in life.
Looking forward to sharing my story on your site in the upcoming months.
Yeah these are actually my favorite kind, but you have to balance it out 🙂
Fortunately, not many people know the falling sound. That’s one of those weird things that instantly puts you in a mini-state of shock.
This is very well written! Kudos!
I feel like for every person pursuing a major change in their financial life it almost always starts with a big aha moment. Whether it’s leaving a job or deciding to pursue financial independence it takes a certain something to flip that switch and go against the norms.
For me it was the birth of my son. Retirement seemed so far away before and I was content plugging away at the 35 year plan at work. Now I feel like every day I spend away from him is a day wasted and I want to get to financial independece as fast as possible. The carrot at the end of the stick is suddenly a whole lot bigger than it ever was before.
Thank you Derek! I can definitely see how your son being born would change everything!
This is such a great read. I think so many people get caught up in doing what they “think they should be doing” and, as you put it, just go through the motions. Oftentimes it takes something tragic happening before they wake up and think to themselves, wait this isn’t how my life should be. This happened to my old boss who put work as her first priority, working all sorts of late nights ALL the time, even though she had young kids and a husband at home. It took her sister passing away very suddenly for her to realize there’s more to life than working your butt off. She now makes a lot more time for her family.
For me, using money to create the life I want means having children at a time where my husband and I are financially comfortable enough for me to quit my job and be home with the children full-time. Ideally, I’d love to make a consistent income from my blog which would allow me to make some money while working from home on my own schedule, but if that doesn’t happen either, so be it. We’ll simply budget properly and cut down costs where we need to in order to make sure I am able to stay home because it’s super important to us.
It always means utilizing money to allow us to travel when and how we like to before the kiddies come 🙂
Thanks so much Courtney, much appreciated! You’re right – unfortunately, it takes a big life event for people to wake up.
Yes, I was definitely excited to get up today! I am a new blogger and really want to help as many people as possible. It’s exciting seeing the visitor count slowly increase. This is all on top of an exciting full time job that I enjoy as well.
That’s great to hear!
Yes. Yes. Yes. Great post, Bobby. Love it! It’s interesting that money can play such a huge role in our lives, especially when we write about it everyday, but it’s just a tool FOR our lives. Our lives are the important thing. How we live them. The people we impact. Other lives that influence us. This post made think about all of that, and my own impact. As author Tim Mauer says, “Personal finance is more personal than it is finance.”
Great one! Keep em’ comin’!
JP
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Great post. Your FIL sounds like a cool guy that had a full and happy life. That’s the way to live.
Excited to get up today? Not really? It’s just like any other day. I’m taking the car in for an oil change, then taking our son to a playdate with friends from NY. We might go out for sushi tonight. It’s like any other good day.
You’ll adapt to anything. 🙂