Millennial Money Man

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April 19, 2018

How to Reach FIRE and Live Minimally…With Kids

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How to Reach FIRE and Live Minimally…With Kids

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Hey everyone, today I've got an awesome guest post for you by Katie of Retiring To The Road! 

I'm going to get real on you for a second – I'm not a FIRE blogger (even though I get mistaken for one all the time). I'm not even actively trying to reach FIRE, because I already have my dream job and don't see a situation where I'd want to step away from it if we're being honest. However, I am part of the personal finance blogging community, so I see stories of people retiring early all the time and think it's a fascinating movement.

But I do think that there is one problem with the FIRE community. There's very little diversity. From the outside looking in, it seems like a lot of the people that write about retiring early are high earners that don't have kids. There's nothing wrong with that of course, but I've talked to enough M$M readers over the years to know that a lot of people don't relate to that scenario, even though those stories typically get featured on media outlets all the time and seem mainstream. 

So nothing against anyone out there that has reached early retirement the way I described above. I'm happy for them. But…I want to hear and share stories from people that are doing it differently. Non-multiple-six-figure salaries, people that have children, etc. That's why I'm super excited about today's post! Katie and her husband Matt are trying to retire early while raising children, which I'm sure sounds like the dream life for a lot of you (unless your kids drive you crazy haha). Enjoy! ~M$M

If you looked at my life right now you’d see the model suburban household: a happy couple with full-time jobs and two happy children playing in the backyard. On the surface, our lifestyle resembles any other house on our street.

What you can’t see is that we’re saving 60% of our income and investing it in what many people consider to be a pretty radical plan.

When we tell people that we’re planning on retiring in two years (I’m 31), selling all of our stuff and traveling the country in a towable tiny house, we usually get the same response: “Really?! But you have kids!” I totally get this reaction. I figure it’s part confusion about why anyone would want to do such a thing, but also part incredulity that it was possible to save at such a high rate while raising tiny humans.

While my kids can drive me nuts, they also bring me more joy and love than I ever could have dreamed. Sipping cocktails on a beach sounds nice (and I won’t turn you down if you want to babysit my children while I do that), but I’m also pretty amped to see the Grand Canyon for the first time with my kids.

Our personal philosophy has changed since we discovered the possibility of early retirement. We’ve learned to enjoy the simple pleasures, instead of just the material BS that screams at us all day long. If we want our children to have the ability to be financially independent one day, doesn’t it stand to reason that we want to raise them with these values from the start?

Given the savings crisis that’s currently happening in America, I would argue that all families could benefit from showing their children that living minimally doesn’t have to be a sacrifice but can instead be a ticket to freedom.

Parenting for Financial Independence

Our first secret is that we’re not actually doing anything all that radical.

We’ve just turned our backs on the notion that more is better when it comes to raising kids. Our kids aren’t deprived by any means, they’re thriving. They have time and space and freedom to be kids, the way that kids used to be.

I think that most people would be hard-pressed to find fault in the guiding principles we’ve chosen to adopt when it comes to raising our kids:

We Show Our Love with Time

We don’t show our kids we love them by buying them new stuff. We show our kids we love them by making the time to be with them. There aren’t any “just because” presents at our house. They get gifts on Christmas and on their birthdays. When they get those gifts, they are appreciative, not just in search of more. For the rest of the year, we show them that we care by giving them our attention.

We Have What We Need, Nothing More

We still live in the 1,500 square foot “starter home” that we bought when we got married ten years ago. It turns out that you don’t actually need 1,000 square feet per person to live comfortably.

We do just fine in a smaller home (obviously, since we plan to go even smaller) that requires less cleaning and less stuff to fill it with.

We Consider Our Impact

Given the epic amount of damage that we are doing to our planet through the overproduction, overconsumption (and then subsequent disposal) of goods, we do our very best to avoid bringing unnecessary stuff into our house. Our kids each have one drawer full of clothes: enough to make it through the week until laundry day.

When possible, we get products second hand from buy/swap sites or thrift stores to avoid the necessity of manufacturing a new product complete with packaging waste. This isn’t something we force on the kids. They feel proud of the fact that they’re helping our environment by reducing their consumption.

We’re Mindful of Purchases

Our kids have enough toys to fill one small shelf. They have high-quality toys that encourage creativity and critical thinking. When they’re making their Christmas lists, we help them think of toys they’ll still like in two years rather than the hot new character that will fall out of favor in three months.

We don’t bring a toy into the house if we can’t envision our kids playing with it many years down the line. When a toy does fall out of favor, the kids will be the first ones to tell you that we should send them it to someone who will love it via a local charity.

We Take Care of Our Possessions

After we’ve been mindful about our purchases, we take care of those things. Our kids understand that we spent our time working to earn money to buy the things that we have and that we don’t want to have to work even more hours to replace those things.

When clothing rips, we mend it; bicycles get put in the shed so they don’t rust. We buy things once and use them for as long as possible.

We Have a Goal

Our children know our plan. They know that we are saving our money so that we can have more time together as a family. We talk to our kids about the decisions we make that support the goal. They get to see their mother and father have discussions about money and working towards a master plan.

When they have a choice to spend $1 now on a useless trinket they noticed in a checkout line or to save toward something that will be more meaningful to them later, they usually make the right choice.

We Explore

We believe in giving our kids time to explore and create. They each choose one extracurricular per semester because overscheduled, stressed out kids are not really happy. They spend most afternoons after school playing in our backyard.

We spend our weekends looking for wildlife while hiking, reading books at our local library, or learning about physics by making paper airplanes. By the way, all of these activities just also happen to be free.

The Reality of Having Kids

I’m not saying that kids won’t cost you any extra cash. You have to pay for healthcare, food, childcare, etc. It might mean you have to spend a couple extra years saving before you can FIRE. What I am saying is that you don’t have to write off the possibility of financial independence if you also want to have kids.

I am never happier than when I’m fully immersed in hanging out with my kids. Having the opportunity to experience that joy full time is totally worth any extra cash that I’ve spent on them along the way.

Bio: Katie and her family are working towards financial independence and early retirement. When they reach their goal, you’ll find them traveling the United States in a towable tiny house while homeschooling their two girls. She writes about personal finance and her family’s journey to early retirement at RetiringToTheRoad.com. You can find her on Instagram at RetiringToTheRoad and on Twitter at RetiringToRoad.

Question for you:

Would you put off having kids to reach Financial Independence, or is it not worth it?

Live differently. Your bank accounts will thank me later. ~M$M

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Comments

  1. This is awesome! I am totally in support of 1) less stuff with kids to teach them to value it, and 2) talking about money and values with your kids.

    As far as your question Bobby, I wouldn’t put off kids to reach FI. However, I would put off having kids to reach a point of basic financial stability.

    We got married 4.5 years ago and just had our daughter last Sept. Our pacing item was getting me done with my masters degree so I could be more present with the family. But we also lived (and still do live) pretty frugally so we avoid money stress.

    We’re not hardcore on a FIRE path, but in our early 30’s and have only 4 years left on the mortgage before we’re debt-free. I went self-employed doing taxes and business consulting two years ago, and we’re aiming for “contentment/enough” instead of “more.”

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    • My kids are going to get sick of me talking about money with them haha! My wife and I have done a similar thing with financial stability, but I guess it wasn’t really something that we talked about or decided beforehand. Just kinda worked out that way!

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    • Congratulations on the new(ish) baby! Only four years left on the mortgage is awesome! I’m all for everyone being able to follow whatever path they feel is best for them. Sounds like you guys will be in a perfect position to enjoy the contented/enough lifestyle you’re shooting for!

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  2. Wow! That’s really cool! I’m glad I finally got to read about someone who has kids and is looking at doing the FIRE route. My first will be arriving in about 10 weeks and I want to do FIRE not just to travel, but to give me the option to start my own businesses. My husband and I are looking at investing in rental properties so we don’t have to worry about saving so much.

    This was really inspiring! Thanks!

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    • Agree with Christa! I’m still on the fence about becoming a parent, and finances are one of the main reasons. Glad to see the there are people out there doing it frugally, happily, and without losing their collective minds and buying into the “omg, must consume!” attitude that seems to prevail. I live in a small 1880s stone farmhouse with NO closets, so definitely need to parent like a minimalist if I parent! 😉

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      • Hi Pam! It’s definitely possible to be a parent and still live minimally! It’s a different perspective than parents are usually sold but it’s easy once you get the hang of it. I actually think that being minimalists has made us happier parents. We have less stuff to clean up and less activities to fill our schedule.

  3. Katie, Well done! If you want more inspiration from an “older” family with a kid who is FI/RE (we are in mid-40’s), you can find my posts on my site. The key is to remember that kid(s), while expensive than having none at all, bring a whole lot of joy, maturity and broader life perspective to parents. This is one decision that while not financially driven gives a lot of life satisfaction. We get to define a kid’s world on what’s right and wrong – because they come with absolutely fresh slate that it’s a privilege for us parents to write on!

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    • Thanks! That’s great, we are still very early in our parenting journey and love learning from families that have been doing it longer than we have. You’re absolutely right that the decision to become a parent is more about the overall experience and not about the money. If you feel the urge to have children then you should balance that with your other life goals and go from there!

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  4. The FIRE idea is awesome and really great for a lot of people. I just could never do that. I’m all for the Financial Independence aspect of it, but the Retire Early part would drive me crazy! I love to work and create. I couldn’t travel all the time either. I’ll keep working on the FI and leave the RE to others who enjoy it.

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    • Absolutely! I don’t think that the RE has to automatically go with the FI. I am a Type A personality so I will always write, even after we do retire. Financial Independence is all about being able to choose what you want to do, including continuing to work!

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  6. I love their story. My husband and I are working to pay off debt and then save for FIRE. Our plan is a bit longer term because we are so far into the hole 😔 but I would love to travel and homeschool. Those experiences mean so much more than another plastic toy.

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    • So true, Sara- experiences over stuff, all the way. It sounds like you have a goal and are driven to reach it. We had debt when we first started on our journey, too. It feels like a huge obstacle when you first start but you WILL pay off that debt if you keep at it. Just keep your eye on the prize and remember what your ultimate goal is.

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  7. So glad to see this article. I didn’t know I was working towards FI until recently. I was just saving for “retirement”, but now I’m hooked to get to FI faster. I’m also glad to see people with children offering their perspectives on this. My husband and I have been DINKs for a while, but now are planning to have one sooner rather than later. Thank Katie for sharing your story!

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    • That sounds exactly like what happened for us! We were saving but didn’t decide to FIRE until pretty recently. I’m really excited to be able to spend more time with the kiddos once we finally do! Congratulations and good luck on your journey!

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  8. Love this post! Bobby, you’re right that I was one of those people who didn’t connect with most FIRE stories because we have kids, but this is inspiring. And Kate, thanks for sharing your awesome story. I love any reminder that to kids, LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E. Kudos to saving 60% of your income. Most people’s jaws drop when they find out we cut our income by 60% so I could be a SAHM / work-from-home mom. You only get to raise your kids once, right? Followed you on twitter. Looking forward to following along with you and your family on this journey.

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  9. I really appreciate the approach that is taken here and it’s great to see how people can manage to achieve the FIRE status when they have kids and other commitments.

    The article is interesting because it is looking at the ability of lower income earners to hit their financial freedom. This is a refreshing approach because there are always going to be obstacles in the way of peoples plans. Whether it be earnings level, unexpected events or circumstances largely outside your control- there are always elements that you can control.

    It’s clear that Katie has tapped into this and is making it work for her. I think that most people have this ability but are often to stubborn in their belief that their circumstances mean they somehow, unlike virtually every other person on the planet, they have noe ability to change their situation. Ultimately it comes down to how much you want to put in. don’t want to change your spending and savings habits? Then you will probably be in the exact same position 5 or 10 years from now.

    I really like hearing about how people overcome problems to achieve financial independence. There’s a great article about a guy who amassed a load of debt through drug abuse and financial tom foolery on Mr Money Mustaches website-
    https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/06/05/success-even-after-self-destruction/

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  10. I love this post! My mom retired early (age 50) and has two kids. And my husband and I are currently planning to do the same. My husband is activity duty military. The plan is, he retires from the military at age 40 (his 20 years) and we live on his pension and a part time job until we’re 50 (or whenever our youngest graduates high school, depending on how old we are when we have our youngest).

    With the lower income of an enlisted military member, retiring much earlier isn’t very realistic as we want at least 3 children. But we do want to retire as soon as our youngest child is eighteen. I’m impressed at the families that reach FIRE at a very young age. It takes a lot of work.

    And as a child of a FIRE mom, I have to say that the life lessons I’VE learned through her experience have been very beneficial to my own life.

    Rock on, FIRE moms & dads! It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it!

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  11. This was so informative! I enjoy reading about FIRE, but it is definitely hard to relate when you have kids. We are only at about a 25% savings rate, but we hope to keep increasing it. It’s nice to know that it’s possible with kids. We also don’t buy any gifts outside of birthdays or holidays. We have found that giving our kids an allowance has been a huge benefit. It not only teaches them money management (they each have a checking and savings account), but it also saves us money because they are responsible for saving their money to purchase anything outside of necessities. This has taught them to really take care of the things that they do purchase, but they have also learned that a lot of things they want just aren’t worth spending their hard-earned dollars on. We make money a part of our every day conversations, and kids really listen more than we think.

    Reply

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