Alright guys, let's have some fun and talk about haters. 🙂 Ever since this site has started to grow and reach more people (think tens of thousands), I've encountered a lot of them!
It's probably pretty similar for all of you – when you start to do well with anything (money, paying off debt, careers, business, etc.), haters seem to come weeping out of wherever it is that they hide during the day.
After all of the emails and comments all over the place I'm starting to notice trends. I actually think it's important to pay attention to what they're saying instead of ignoring them, because it gives you a look into a mindset that is SO important for all of us to avoid.
I get it. Student loans suck. Grinding in grad school is hard. The side hustle isn't taking off the way you hoped. The bank accounts feel thin.
No matter where you are in the journey, your mindset is the only thing you can control. It's the biggest thing I keep pounding on this site. I can give the best tips in the world for your money, but if your mind isn't right, you're done before you start.
Here are five things haters are good at (you need to suck at these BTW):
1. Finding ways they “can't”
Boom. That's the biggest problem in a nutshell. I read a lot of incredible debt payoff stories, and they usually revolve around someone making a really hard choice to not blow their discretionary income.
Whether they moved in with parents or inlaws (like Coral and I did), got a killer job, or side-hustled the crap out of their spare time – they still had to make that choice to type the bigger numbers on the payment screen.
The people that fail get upset that they “don't have the same opportunities” (as if all of us EVER have the same opportunities in life) instead of finding and making more opportunities. Pretty simple.
2. Being skeptical
I've been called a con artist and a scammer, which is awesome because I don't charge anything for people to look at the site. If I am a con artist…I really really suck at it and need to figure that $hit out to make some more money haha.
If your first reaction to someone's success is to think that it's a scam, you've already lost (and need to stop watching so much TV probably).
3. Looking for a blueprint instead of strategies
I think the saddest thing that I've seen so far is the lack of creativity from people when it comes to paying off their debt. I specifically remember reading a comment that read: “When I find a story about someone that paid off $40,000 of student loans in 18 months without a side-hustle, cheap living situation, or high income…then I'll pay attention”.
Unfortunately, you won't find that because of that thing called math.
You can either make more money, or spend less money. If you do both, you're a financial [email protected]$$. That's how people pay off debt quickly. Putting in zero extra effort and living as comfortably as possible on a low salary won't do it. I'm super sorry.
4. Classifying success as luck
As if successful people just trip on their awesome careers, find a paid-off debt balance in the street, or open the gift of a successful business in the mail. Keep that luck nonsense to yourself please.
5. Finding extra time
Here's my biggest question for these people: How the heck do they all have the time to write so many emails and comments? You would think that they could take that really serious energy and actually do something awesome with it.
I know the majority of my readers don't have time for that nonsense because they are KILLING IT with their extra time.
If you find yourself doing any of the above things on a regular basis, you may be hater. It's OK, but you'd probably be more successful hating on a site owner and readers that actually take that stuff seriously. We're busy destroying debt over here in M$M Land. 🙂
Questions for you:
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I want to hear your best hater story! Why did it happen?
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Are haters born haters or do they become haters?
Keep hustling Destroyers. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
Live differently. Your bank accounts will thank me later. ~M$M
Best to just ignore the haters and let them wallow in their own negativity. Keep up the good work!
I’m actually starting to think it’s important to look at what some of them say – it gives you a peek into the type of mindsets that hold people back! Also gives me something fun to write about haha
I actually think a healthy dose of skepticism is something we need more of. Maybe not so much in terms of reading other blogs, but definitely in terms of “too good to be true” money situations. I think that a lack of skepticism can get people into financial hot water in the first place! Sadly, I haven’t really made it yet. No real haters. A handful of people get a little cranky when I write posts on feeding children and school lunches. But that’s more directed at the issue than me. Congrats on the haters. That’s how you know you’ve made it, right?! 😉
Haha I’m sure you have haters in real life (probably parents that don’t like their kids being called out for stuff). 🙂
I am glad you addressed this! There will always be people who disagree and people who are ugly about it. People see things from their perspective only, and we have no control over that. The people who find reasons to deny what you are doing are struggling inside to find a way to be successful in more ways than one. They are looking for direction, but when they read advice they go into denial mode. You can’t please everyone, so those who listen and think about options they learn about will be the successful ones. The others? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. Have to let go of the ones that don’t really want to be saved or helped and know that the ones open to it are absorbing and learning. The world is at our fingertips these days, so those who are inherently successful will benefit, and those that are not will continue to flounder. May seem harsh, but in this politically correct world, the fact is….it is survival of the fittest.
I’m pretty fortunate – my story divides people pretty instantly into dedicated readers or total haters haha. I don’t usually have to do a lot of convincing to people on the fence, so it makes life a little easier! 🙂
That seems to be common theme all haters have in common- whether the success they hate on is financial, fame, or beauty, nobody wants to look at the hard work and sacrifices people have to make to get where they are. Haters just want instant gratification in their own lives, so they hate on the people who succeed by doing what they won’t.
Isn’t that so weird? I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to be instantly negative all the time!
Oooh dang, this is a good one, M$M!
My best hater story actually doesn’t come from online peeps, but from my stepmom! I went up to visit my Dad for a weekend right after we bought a house. She asked me how much we bought it for, etc. I said, “Oh, about $145k, but we’ll be paying it off within the next 5-7 years, so I’m not too worried about it really.”
Her eyes bugged out of her head! She started grilling me about the math behind it. “Wait! … You’d have to overpay on your mortgage…”
“Yup,” I said.
“But by, like, thousands of dollars a month…”
“Yup.”
“That’s not possible!”
I informed her that it was possible since we have well-paying jobs and save over 50% of our income, but she still silently seethed while she tried to do math on her fingers.
I really don’t get why people get so riled up about this stuff. Especially people that I’m close to! I normally don’t tell people a damn thing about my finances, because it seems like they just want to argue about it for some reason. It’s really frustrating, because I only tell people I trust because I want to help them. It’s sort of sad.
As far as haters go, I don’t think anyone is a pure “hater.” I think they’re just fed up with their own situation and looking for an outlet to voice their frustrations. Even trolls have moments of clarity. But haters can be reformed; they can get out of their situation with hard work.
It just takes the gumption to actually go through with it.
Haha we could start some kind of hater reformation project!!!! The story about your stepmother doesn’t surprise me too much honestly. The average person doesn’t even think about paying more than the required amount on anything. You and I are definitely the odd ones out in that regard.
Most people don’t want to see others succeed it makes them look small. Would not waste time with narrow minded people. Do what you do and delete those who hate, life is to short for those kind of comments.
I agree – do what you do and own it! This site didn’t start to get bigger until I really embraced my debt-freedom story and started pushing for people to stop caring what others think.
Haters are a sad reality. They can be found wherever there is success. But even worse, they are found more commonly when someone is trying to change their life for the better. Haters aren’t successful, and they will do whatever they can to bring you down and keep you at their level.
Haha yes they can be found anywhere that there’s success…especially the internet!
M$M, you are so right about this. There’s always some reason why people say they “can’t” do something. In your Business Insider article, I especially found it interesting the guy who said, give me an article where a guy pays of $40k with no extra job and no side hustle. How does he think that’s possible? And why won’t he pay attention until he gets that story. The answer: he doesn’t want to do anything different than what he’s already doing, and somehow, he thinks there’s a magic solution out there where you can pay off debt quickly doing absolutely nothing different.
Haha that was the guy I was referencing! Isn’t that crazy? I feel so sorry for people like that, especially when the message just goes right over their head. 🙁
A lot of it is also going against the social norm. A lot if the people that are haters are also people who play “keep up with the Jones’s” and that’s REALLY hard to break (my anthropologist is showing lol). And, in my case, I’ve also seen it from the people I’m close to because they’ve spent their life trying to instill these values into me that they truly believe are worth having, only to go in the exact opposite direction. For the internet haters, you can be the ripest, sweetest, juiciest peach in the world, but there will still be people who don’t like peaches. I like that you’re looking at the what the haters are writing to understand their mindset. Most people do just write them off, which I completely understand, but nothing will change unless someone takes the initiative. Thanks and keep up the great articles!
Christa! Long time no see! Internet haters such an interesting group of people. The ones in the comment sections are the lazy ones though. My favorite are the ones that take the time to actually email me haha!
Man the haters inspired a very funny post. And I am sure a post that was a lot of fun to write. I am a big believer that those who believe everything is due to luck are not trying. Nothing comes easy in live. People act like it was your fault you got to live with your in-laws. That was a choice not a requirement. I wonder how the haters would feel knowing I got out of college debt free… I only had 12 hour days everyday but that must be lucky as well. Keep up the great work and ignore the jealousy.
Haha yeah I had fun with this one – but I really do think there is an important message hidden in there. So many people have crappy attitudes about their financial situation because the negative people are better at getting their message out!
Great post! People are quick to look for reasons to discount the success of others, often due to jealousy. Attitude is huge in changing your circumstances. There is no solution that fits everyone perfectly, so work hard and find what works for you!
Thanks Kate! That’s so true!!!!!
I think I found an error. This site reached hundreds of thousands, not tens of thousands!
I would challenge you on the luck aspect. I think people have a certain amount of luck added to their lives that they take advantage of. Warren Buffett is a classic example who admits that he was lucky. He was born a male in one of the best times to be born to for the United States. He had nothing to do with when he was born and what gender he was, which was luck. He did make the most out of that luck, though and made his own luck afterwards but I’m a firm believer that success can’t happen without at least a little bit of luck.
That’s valid – but people confuse hard work with luck. Was I lucky to be born into my awesome family? Yes. Did I win the lotto by being born in America in this time period? Yes.
Did I get lucky with M$M or paying off my loans? I don’t think so. I hustled, made the payments, made the hard choices, learned how to write and build a website, etc. I don’t talk about it a lot on this site, but my father-in-law had a very serious illness and needed help before he eventually passed away (which was the main reason we stayed at my in-laws so long). That’s certainly not lucky – it was a reality of life. We made the best of it by getting ahead financially in the process and turned a $hitty situation into one we felt better about.
There is luck involved, but it’s not usually on the “work” side of things.
I’m not “famous” enough yet to have any haters – hopefully soon!
It is amazing to me when I see it though, people are so good at coming up with excuses for why THEY can’t be successful. They don’t have time, they aren’t lucky, their job is too demanding, the list goes on and on…
People that are successful assess their situation, decide what they want to get done and get on with kicking ass and taking names. And the haters? They’re just gonna hate, hate hate…
Haha you’ll get there! That’s the least exciting part about your blog growing though honestly. Then you get used to it and can make fun of them 🙂
I just remember that their reactions say a whole lot more about what their mental state is than mine. They are painting us with an image shaped by their own experiences. I just keep on getting the work done.
I really pity some of them. They could be so much better off if they just took ACTION!
Haha yep! Love the blog name btw
My most memorable “hater” story is from earlier this year. My husband and I had been using the self-serve laundromat within walking distance from our apartment, and were spending ~$10 a week. We did the math, and purchased a washer and dryer with a portion of our tax refund. My mother can’t believe we live the way we do (we go “without” a lot of stuff – not parking on campus and walking instead, no cable, Hulu, Netflix, etc., we don’t even have a TV in our place), and absolutely couldn’t believe that you could purchase a new washer and dryer with cash without being “rich”.
1) Congrats on going through college without student loans. That’s incredible!!! 🙂
2) Parents seem to be the #1 haters out there for a lot of people I know. Keep doing what you are doing, I guarantee when you start really killing it later on they will start talking about how proud they are of you instead!
It’s called player hating. First step is to realize the player isn’t the issue, it’s the game. Second step is to realize that you don’t really want to hate the game, you want to play it.
Final step is when you play the game and you become by definition, a player.
Haha nice!
I really like this article. I feel the same way about people who are hating on other people’s success. Most likely is because they can’t do it themselves. As a result, they will bring down everyone else because of it.
I think people aren’t born being haters. I think they become haters because they have insecurities. They will try to bully you.
All I got to say is keep moving forward and do you! 🙂