OK…I could NOT pass up this guest post idea by Carmen from Make Real Cents!!!!! Straight-up, I don't know jack about Tinder, which makes me feel like a grandpa but oh well. I met my wife in high school, which is great because I think I would be horrifically bad at dating in 2018. Like it just seems so…hard haha. Kinda like budgeting if you've never done it before. 🙂
I love this post, you'll love it, and we'll all learn about Tinder together. Enjoy! ~M$M
The New York City subway is full of all different types of interesting characters. From people screaming at each other, to kids hustling Welches Fruit Snacks to guys interrupting your quiet commute home by banging on paint buckets with sticks for money; NYC has something for everyone.
With all the hustle and bustle of a big city, naturally, one can only imagine the different types of conversations you tend to hear over the course of a 45-minute commute. Most of the time, you can’t help overhearing a convo because the person or people talking are so loud that they might as well announce all their problems on the front page of the New York Times.
One day after work, on my commute home, I casually overheard two girls talking about a tinder fiasco. It went something like this:
Girl A: So you swiped and what?
Girl B: We totally matched but IDK, I’m not super psyched about going on another date.
Girl A: I know what you mean, Tinder takes a lot of freaking work and you meet a bunch of psychos – remember that one guy I met at The Smith?
Girl B: OMG, yes!!!!! hahahaha
Girl A: : eye roll:….
I laughed to myself because I was all too familiar with the swipe left culture of NYC. In a different era and time in my life, I too used the app because I thought it would be a good way for me to meet people. Turns out, the only people I ended up meeting were a bunch of weirdos that I didn't have much in common with. And while Tinder totally sucked, in the beginning, it eventually turned out to play a major role in my life today. As the Chatty Cathys were continuing their descent into a dark, deep, self-loathing wormhole, it oddly hit me that budgeting is actually a lot like Tinder.
Here are some parallels between Tinder and budgeting:
1) You have to figure out your type
For starters, the dating and budgeting game are more alike than you think because you have to figure out your budgeting style/type the same way you have to figure out your dating “type”. Thanks to the internet, there is a plethora of budgeting information at our fingertips just waiting to be consumed. The problem becomes that there is so much information out there it becomes hard to sort through to find out what your type truly is.
Just like dating, there are a ton of people out there and you usually find out your type through trial and error.
You’ve got to decide if you’re a software kind of person who likes to plug in numbers and have pretty charts appear like the ones in Personal Capital? Or do you prefer to keep it simple and go after your budget with pencil and paper? Maybe you don’t like any of the above and are the type of person that’s found success budgeting via apps like Mint and Every Dollar.
Whatever your style, it takes time and patience to figure out your type/style and what works best for you as an individual.
2) Looks can be deceiving
If you’ve never used Tinder, to paint the picture for you, you are given a stack of digital pictures/profiles to sort through and you swipe left if it’s a no or you swipe right if you think someone is cute.
Once you stop and say “ohh, he’s/she’s cute”, then and only then, do you proceed to check out their bio. Budgeting, like a bio, can be all good and great at first glance but can be a total disaster come execution time. Similar to actually going on a date with someone who’s profile you liked. Based on their profile, at first, you think they are totally hot and super sweet because they rescue kittens on the weekend. Then you finally meet them in person and find out they hate babies and old people.
Budgeting can work the same way. A lot of people when they first start out budgeting are all gung-ho about doing it until their numbers don't start to add up. Then they become hard on themselves because their budget says one thing and their grocery column for an additional $200 says another. Just because you have it on paper and it fits nicely into your plan for the month doesn't necessarily mean it will turn out that way. Kind of like the date that went completely wrong.
You have to be flexible and realistic when it comes to budgeting and understand that adjustments will need to be made along the way. Just because you put $50 dollars down for groceries that doesn’t mean it’s a realistic number for your family of 4 with one on the way.
Don’t get too caught up in being inflexible that you miss the whole point of budgeting to begin with, which is to tell your money where to go and to use it as a game plan for your money.
3) Trial and Error
Tinder boils down to a numbers game. The more you swipe right, the more likely you will eventually match with someone…which makes it more likely for you to snag a date. But the process/success formula is largely rinse and repeat. You’ll have to snag and go on several dates before you end up meeting the right one and even then, chances are iffy.
Similar to Tinder, your Budget will always be under construction. It will take a ton of trial and error to eventually get it down to a semi-successful plan. And even when you think it’s going great, you may need to tweak it a few times to account for unexpected expenses or to make up for a previously terrible budgeting month.
4) You’ll get frustrated
You will get frustrated. It's not a matter of if, but when.
There is absolutely no way around this. Like Tinder, the endless search for the perfect match can sometimes feel like a fleeting one. You will get bored, frustrated because things aren’t going the way you planned, and you may even want to give up.
When you get to this point in budgeting, you have two choices:
1.) Give up because that’s the easy thing to do
2.) Suck it up and keep after it until you get it right.
I can tell you one thing though; giving up won’t get you to the finish line of your goals.
5) Eventually, you’ll find the one; what you seek is seeking you
Eventually after all the tears, cheap wells drinks, your thumbs hurting from endless nights of swiping left, and all the boring conversations held over causal dinners, you will find the one. I can tell you from experience because I did. Remember when I mentioned earlier that Tinder played a big role in my life? Well, it’s part of the reason why/how I met my fiancé.
We are getting married in less than 2 months and long story short, it all started because of Tinder but that’s for another post.
Like Tinder, you will eventually find what works best for you and you’ll get your budgeting system down to a science. It takes a lot of patience to get through the points of discouragement, trial and error, and a lot of being able to look past what you think your plan should be.
Right around the same time I met my fiancé, I had just started budgeting for the first time in my life. It’s now almost 3 years later and I’m still reworking/tweaking my budget similar to when I first started. While it has taken some work, budgeting has completely turned my financial situation around. It’s the biggest reason why I was able to pay off more than $38,000 dollars of debt in 18 months.
Next time you’re on Tinder or working on your budget, remember this story and how investing your time and energy can pay off greatly if you stick with it.
Comments
Andrew Brown
One phrase that’s been rampant in my work life lately is “learn and pivot.” I think it’s right on the money that with our finances, we just have to learn through trial and error, be patient in the process, and make better choices based off what you learned.
Gotta admit I had no clue where you were going with comparing Tinder and budgeting, but you were right on the money! 😀
Millennial Money Man
Haha I love this post so much
Drew
Tinder is like a slot machine. It is very addictive and that accounts for the success of these swiping apps.
Social media is the same. It gives you notifications. Most of them are duds. But once is a while you get a big reward for checking social media.
Unfortunately, stocks and investing can be like a slot machine too. You check most days and you’re either up slightly, down slightly, or even. The on some days you are way down (chaos and excitement) or way up (dompamine!)
It is good to recognize the psychology of all of these (their creators did) and adjust your life and priorities accordingly.
Millennial Money Man
All great points. There is definitely an element of reward with all of those things.
Zac
What a great post. I can not WAIT until stuff like Tinder is no longer a part of my life. I’m so busy working/working out/hustling that in the small downtime I get when I “feel” like I need/want to date I’ll turn to dating apps and the disappointment is of Biblical proportions. To put it in more personal finance terms, dating apps (not just singling out Tinder) for me have been like cashing out a 401(k) early, penalty and all, and using the proceeds to buy a truck and commence dumpster diving to hopefully find a rare item that someone has thrown out to hopefully sell to some eclectic collector to make it worth it.
In other words, dating makes no sense and I hate it. Women on apps just aren’t into handsome, successful guys like they used to be.
Millennial Money Man
Isn’t it??? I love this post haha.
Dude I can’t imagine what it’s like dating right now. My wife and I joke about that all the time because it’s so different than it was when we were in college. I most likely have zero flirting skills at this point in my life due to atrophy haha.
Kelsee
Haha, “Women on apps just aren’t into handsome, successful guys like they used to be.”
It’s the same for us ladies. I’ve written about a handful of my greatest/messiest Tinder experiences on my blog, so it’s definitely just as epic for us.
Kelsee
I had NO idea how someone could possibly link Tinder & budgeting, but this is great!
As someone who played the Tinder game for a long time and as someone who loves budgeting, you definitely do learn that there is a person/process for everyone.
Millennial Money Man
This is awesome, right? When I read the title I thought the same thing haha.
Vileka Fisher
I met my husband on Tinder. Our 3rd wedding anniversary is in June.
What a great take on budgeting. I love the comparison!
Millennial Money Man
That’s awesome!!!!!
Erik @ The Mastermind Within
I’ve used Tinder… and Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel – personally I liked Bumble best as a guy (less work on my part and better for screening since girls have to reach out first 🙂 )
I’ve used Mint, Personal Capital, and now have my own spreadsheet for budgeting and tracking. I love it
Erik @ The Mastermind Within
I’ve used Tinder… and Bumble and Coffee Meets Bagel – personally I liked Bumble best as a guy (less work on my part and better for screening since girls have to reach out first 🙂 )
I’ve used Mint, Personal Capital, and now have my own spreadsheet for budgeting and tracking.
You definitely have to figure out what you like!
Great post 🙂
Millennial Money Man
I…have never heard of the other two you just mentioned. That is crazy.
Corey
I’m with old-man-river. Never used Tinder and would likely be completely lost in the dating world today. My wife and I met in college and have been married almost 10 years…. Love this post and the connections it has. We’ve tried a bunch of approaches to budgeting over the years before sticking to one that works for us. It has greatly helped us financially, as well as personally. Once you know what you’re money is doing, it is one less item in your life to stress about!
Millennial Money Man
Dude we are so lucky to meet our wives that early haha. I’d be so lost in the dating world.
Leann Holloway
Well, Bobby, I admit that I read all your posts, but there’s no way I could NOT read this one. The title just sucks you right in. Love it and the post!
Millennial Money Man
haha isn’t it awesome??? This is one of my favorite guest posts ever!
Christopher Conant
This article was really funny and well put together. I am guilty of using Tinder. My fiance and I actually met on Tinder!
Millennial Money Man
That’s awesome! Yes she crushed it!!!!
Chonce
You know, I NEVER thought of it this way. I agree, especially with the fact that budgeting can be trial and error. I’ve gone through so many different ways of budgeting, and after years I’ve finally found one that works well for me and my household. As for Tinder… I was lucky enough to meet my husband without it (but I’ve heard some really funny stories!) lol.
Elyse
Tinder was a nightmare. Ironically, I started dating my boyfriend because he was just a friend at the time and I asked him to write my tinder bio for me because I didn’t know what to write. Turns out he was interested in me anyway! Win for me because I deleted my tinder app that night and never looked back!
Land
I met my wife on a similar service to tinder! Very similar psychology. You can be very successful if you determine what your priorities are and communicate that.
Of course, my wife only when on a date with me because we are both New England transplants living in Seattle… ?