Why You Should Never Be Ashamed of Your Story

Why You Should Never Be Ashamed of Your Story

Hey De$troyers! I hope you all had an awesome Labor Day weekend. Yesterday was a really cool day for the site – Coral and I were featured on CNBC (also syndicated on Yahoo Finance)! I know a ton of you already saw this because I emailed it out (and shared it about 5 bazillion times on Twitter), but I actually wanted to touch on some of the feedback the post received.

You can check out our CNBC feature here (but come back)!

Anyone that has been in the blogging game for more than a few months knows that the internet is a weird place. Some people literally sit around all day and comment on articles just to trash them as a hobby. Maybe it’s some kind of personal issues or a weird mental complex, who knows.

This site is definitely an exception…everyone is really really cool here (thank goodness).

Normally I would totally ignore negative comments, because they just don’t bother me anymore. Your skin gets thick when you do this…er…”professionally”. I had decided I wouldn’t even read them after I saw the article go up. However – my mom was pissed haha!

She sent me a message after the feature posted and was pretty upset about what people were saying about me and Coral. We were freeloaders, living off of mommy and daddy, we got lucky, I’m obviously a con-artist, my wife probably paid for everything, the school district must have been desperate when they hired me, blah blah blah blah blah. Some of them were actually pretty funny because they were such bizarre takes on our lives.

I BEGGED her not to respond and ignore them. She held back…luckily for those people. 😉

Here are a few things I did notice though:

The “mommy and daddy” thing came up quite a bit.

For whatever reason, people throw that one out there when they hear about millennials that live/have lived with their parents. I don’t really think it’s mean or anything stupid like that, I think it’s just people being out of touch with today’s reality for college graduates.

Student loans are CRUSHING a lot of young people to the tune of 1.2 trillion dollars. I won’t judge anyone for how they choose to attack them. Live with your parents if they’ll have you, aunts and uncles, friends, whatever. As long as you have financial goals and are helping out…do whatever the hell you want and feel great about it!

Caring what your peers, or anyone thinks for that matter, will just hold you back from your financial goals. People don’t finance nice houses or shiny cars for themselves. They borrow money to impress other people. Don’t fall into that trap.

My wife having a job came up more than once.

Just to clarify – it’s actually not 1913 anymore. Women can have cool jobs and bad@$$ careers if they want to. *GASP* They’re better than men at a ton of stuff. It’s OK.

While I was paying off my loans, she saved up her money and paid cash for our wedding (it was nice too, not going to lie).

I was just surprised it was even mentioned. Some couples actually do keep their money separate like we did. That’s a real thing.

Kathleen Elkins (the writer) is a straight up baller.

I enjoyed reading her articles even before she called me for the interview. They’re fun and usually about ultra successful people, which is pretty cool! Go follow her on Twitter when you get a chance (especially if you are a blogger).

Anyways, I know this isn’t a normal M$M post – we will get back to that on Friday! I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that has been following the site over the last year and a half. I *think* this thing has a bright future ahead of it, and it’s legitimately because of you. Not me. Seriously.

*P.S. – It would be a huge favor to me if you all went and shared the article on whatever social media channel you like the most! Here’s the link again —> Go share now and help Bobby appear successful to his wife. 🙂

Live differently. Your bank accounts will thank me later. ~M$M

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23 comments… add one
  • The Financial Panther Sep 7, 2016, 7:21 am

    Congrats on being featured on CNBC! I think on this blog, you typically get people with a similar mindset. We’re just trying to take control of our money and do the best with what we have. So when we hear a story about paying off debt quickly, it inspires us and we applaud the story.

    On the big media outlets, you are basically getting a lot of folks who just haven’t gotten into that mindset. So instead of accepting it and thinking how can I do this, they instead immediately jump to reasons why they can’t do the same thing. They can’t live at home for cheap. They can’t have their spouse work. They can’t do whatever myriad of things like you did. Mr. Groovy over at Freedom Is Groovy had a blog post a few months back that I think helps explain a lot of the pushback out there. (http://freedomisgroovy.com/the-answer-to-everything-syndrome)

    While I’ll admit that not everyone is in the right situation, I always think the first thought people have when reading a story shouldn’t be, I can’t, but rather, how can I? At least that’s how I’ve been approaching a lot of these debt payoff stories and financial independence stories. Rather than just dismiss them, I’m trying to see if there is a way I can replicate them too. If I find out I can’t, whats the harm?

    I get a similar reaction from some people when I share my story of paying off student loans. They’ll point out that I earned a good salary and that’s why I was able to do it. It’s hard for people to understand that just earning a good salary isn’t enough. You also have to actively make it a point to pay the debt off and it does take work and a plan in order to do it.

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 7:32 am

      Thanks! I agree with everything you said. It’s kinda unfortunate, because I really think people are looking for some kind of one-size-fits-all solution for debt. There just isn’t one when it comes to an exact payoff timeline or payment size.

      I get enough emails from awesome readers to know that I’m helping people get excited about paying off debt. For every hater there’s 7,000 people that get some value. Those are some pretty damn good numbers if I say so myself haha!

      • Pamela Dec 7, 2016, 3:58 pm

        Just reading your blog post and these comments is super awesome. You do great work in the PF blogging community. There will always be haters. Financial Panther is right, most people that choose to focus on an irrelevant fact are not on the same mindset and need something to justify there life choices and why they are still in a rut.
        Keep doing what you do!

  • Christa Szabo Sep 7, 2016, 8:36 am

    I’ve noticed that a lot myself. The more financially educated I become. The more push back I get. After I read your article about Rich Dad, Poor Dad; I started checking out more of his stuff and I’ve been learning a lot. And with my mom being a math teacher and a former business manager with her degree in hotel/ restaurant management, I thought she would find it interesting. Instead she treats me like the 6 year old who says she’s going to take over the world that you Pat on the head and say “that’s nice, dear”. I think the reason why there is so much backlash is because we’re something “new” with our money. And for a lot of money, “new”=”bad/scary”. But you’re right, we all need to keep pushing forward and your articles help keep me on track and teach me new ways of finding financial independence. Keep it up and congratulations on the CNBC article!!!!!!

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 8:40 am

      Money is a touchy subject for people. It’s taboo and definitely offends people when something hits too close to home! That’s why I love this site – everyone on here talks pretty freely and openly about what is going on with their finances. I get emails where people share EVERYTHING with me, just so they can throw some stuff at the wall and see what sticks.

      We’re all playing the same game, might as well hang out together and try to get good at it right? 🙂

  • Christa Szabo Sep 7, 2016, 9:00 am

    Absolutely!!! Seriously, I would have NO ONE to talk to if it weren’t for your blog (no joke!) And good news, I found a part time job that will double my monthly income! So I’ll be able to pay things off sooner!! Hooray!! Can’t wait till the forums are up, so many ideas will be flying then lok

  • Roger Sep 7, 2016, 9:00 am

    My wife and I started with combined federal student loan of $60K by the time we graduated 10 years ago. It’s now down to $8K. We lived on our own, paid for most of our wedding/honeymoon, had a single car, and two kids so far.
    Looking back, we could have gotten rid of the student loan a few years ago if we didn’t purchase a condo and kept renting. Maybe I shouldn’t have started golf. Man, that’s an expensive hobby.
    At the end of the day, we are thankful where we are at this stage of our lives and will get rid of the student loan as soon as possible, and move to a larger home further away from our work.

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 9:08 am

      Wow – 60K down to 8k? That’s freaking incredible! There’s always the “I should have done this differently” feeling. It doesn’t really matter though. As long as you’re on your way to getting debt free and excited about it, you’re on the right track! Good luck – keep me posted! 🙂

  • Stefan - The Millennial Budget Sep 7, 2016, 10:09 am

    Congrats again on the article man. I think part of the negative comments is out of jealousy. Many of those people that commented either did not have the opportunity to live at home and have a spouse to help them out or they had to much pride in themselves to stay at home with their parents to pay off their loans.

    Anytime there is a change to the norm people always seem to do and say crazy stuff. Nobody likes change but millennials are under so much pressure with our money that living at home for a year or two after college should be seen as a good thing rather than a bad (ok maybe bad for our parents but still.) You did the right move, you are debt free, and let the haters hate just because they may potentially be stuck in the debt spiral.

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 10:27 am

      Thanks! That kind sucks – I hope they aren’t stuck in the debt spiral! Pride is a big part of it, staying with your parents sucks haha. We were super happy to be able to spend time with Coral’s father before he passed, which is way more important than the student loan debt or my new career.

  • Matt Spillar Sep 7, 2016, 10:15 am

    Congrats on the feature Bobby! So awesome to see your story get picked up by such a big outlet, I enjoyed reading it. It’s always a shame to see that trolls come out of the woodwork with their negativity. They like to key in on a few minor details or advantages you might have, and then use them as excuses for why they can’t do the same. It’s unfortunate because they’re missing the entire message. Sure, you lived with your parents for awhile and had dual incomes. Plenty of other people have similar situations, but fail to make the LIFESTYLE changes that are needed to succeed. If people could simply look past the exact circumstances and just take away the larger message, they’d be able to make changes to their own lives and end up being a lot more successful in achieving their goals. But tearing down other people is easier than acknowledging their own shortcomings, so they lash out in defense of their low self esteem.

    To me, reading about debt re-payment stories are really inspiring. It makes it all feel so much more possible when there are hundreds of different avenues that can all lead to the same end goal: debt freedom. If there was only a one size fits all model, I think it would seem way harder to achieve for myself.

    Anyways, congrats again, and I’m glad you didn’t let the haters get to you at all, your community here fully supports you and your story inspires a lot of people out there!

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 10:29 am

      Thanks Matt! I haven’t even read anything today, just enjoying the big boost in site traffic. 🙂

      I had plenty of emails from people thanking me for helping them yesterday, which is the entire point of the site. The people that don’t like the story aren’t my focus!

  • Millennial Moola Sep 7, 2016, 10:22 am

    Way to go with the CNBC interview . My girlfriend and I are paying down her 124k of loans from med school. It’s crazy having a negative six figure number after your name

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 10:29 am

      It’s a bunch but I’m sure that investment will pay off! There’s some pretty killer salaries to be had in the medical industry haha!!

  • EdD Sep 7, 2016, 12:13 pm

    IMHO, it is our duty as parents to make the next generation more successful than the previous. There is a big difference between sitting around and sponging off parents and working your butts off to pay down debt. BTW, my daughter and her fiance are doing the same thing right now with my daughter’s mom. They are also contributing to the household expense which really helps out my daughter’s mom.

    I myself graduated from college about 33 years ago without debt. I was really oblivious to what was going on today with the cost of college until my daughter was finishing up her last year of Nursing school. The immediate interest bearing loans and the amount of debt these kids have to take on is criminal. They need and deserve all the reasonable help they can get to put them in a position of being successful.

    • Millennial Money Man Sep 7, 2016, 12:32 pm

      I’m not totally sure if it’s a parents duty or not, but I totally agree with you that there is a difference between people using the opportunity to live with parents to meet goals and people that don’t contribute. In our situation, we feel good about what we did. We were helpful financially and just with life stuff in general. With my father-in-law’s health condition at the time, staying a bit longer than we originally planned was just the right thing to do!

      College tuition rates are out of control. I keep thinking that there will be a shift towards trade schools, but as long as government loans are guaranteed we will see more of the same.

  • Ms. Montana Sep 9, 2016, 7:32 am

    Congrats on the feature! Hopefully for every person that wrote a negative comment, there were a 1000 that checked our your site and wanted to learn more.

  • james Sep 17, 2016, 7:52 pm

    I’ve been following your site and wanted to say congrats on the CNBC story. It’s not surprising to read about the negative comments, as a lot of people resent anyone who is doing well. Your message to take charge and get debts under control is a vital one. A lifetime of debt combined with impulsive spending almost left me homeless. It wasn’t until I was 50 that I was free of the burden and enjoying a frugal lifestyle. If you can do it at half my age and inspire others, then onwards and upwards!

  • Frugal Millennial Oct 2, 2016, 2:51 pm

    Congrats on the article! I think you are right that people are so quick to judge boomerang kids because they just don’t understand the reality of the student loan debt situation. I’ve also had people criticize me for living with my parents while telling me that their kids are so independent and would never do that (and they mention that they taught their kids about money from an early age). That’s great for their kids, but many kids don’t really receive any financial education and we live in a society where debt is viewed as normal and necessary.

    Ripping on millennials for being so “entitled” is not going to fix the boomerang kid issue. The only way to improve this mess is to start educating kids about personal finance before they take on student loan debt. If people spent less time insulting others and more time pushing for personal finance education in high schools, we might start to see real change.

    • Millennial Money Man Oct 3, 2016, 7:35 am

      I honestly think it’s just the new reality and will continue to be the case as generation Z starts to go to college shortly. I don’t judge anyone anymore, and my writing has changed pretty significantly because of it (in a good way). There is no blueprint for student loans.

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